Lost Innocence

Chapter Fourty Four

POV Christine

"No Joe! You're not listening to me, you never do!" I yelled as Joe and I had another argument. Samantha had been out spending the day with her Uncle Ryan. 
"I always listen to you, it's all I do!" Joe yelled back. 
"You don't, you like to think you do but you don't. You have always known how I felt on you and yet you continued to push this relationship onto me and look at where it has led us!" 
"I tried for so many years!" 
"You have always known I have loved Paul!" I yelled as I looked at Joe. I could tell this I struck a nerve. The words had come out faster than I could stop them. Joe grabbed my wrist in a fit of rage. 
"Everything is always going to be about him, isn't it?" Joe asked in anger. 
"Joe! You're hurting me!" I yelled as I looked at the grip he had on my wrist.
"Let me go!" I yelled as I struggled to escape his grip. When he looked at me struggle and the fear and pain on my face his eyes widened and he immediately let go. When he did I watched as he ran to the bedroom and closed the door. I looked in confusing as I held my wrist with my other hand. It was red and it felt sore. Joe had never had a reaction like that before and it scared and confused me. 

Samantha and Ryan had arrived shortly after and I told Ryan that Joe was in the bedroom. I took Samantha to the couch and let her tell my all about her day with her uncle. It took a while but Ryan was able to get Joe out of the room. Tears stained Joe's cheeks as he approached me and hugged me. 
"I'm so sorry Christy." Joe said as he tried to stop crying. 
"I-it's okay." I said as I hugged him back. I could see how terrible he felt about what he had done, it wasn't the worst thing that could have happened but it was the most violent and enraged I had ever seen him. There was no denying he had plenty of demons but we had to find a way to help him deal with them. I began to cook dinner and Ryan agreed to stay with us. In the middle of dinner I heard a knock on the door and Joe got up to answer it. When he opened the door I saw his face go white. 
"What the hell are you two doing here?" Joe asked as his parents appeared arm in arm. Ryan got up and made his way over to Joe. 
"Christine, take Samantha to her room." I grabbed her hand and we went into her bedroom as we heard screams. I tried to turn on the TV to drown out the noise coming from outside. 
"Who are those people mommy?" Samantha asked. 
"They are just people that daddy doesn't like very much, you don't have to worry but you do need to stay here." I said as I kissed her head and walked out to see the fighting going on. 
"We don't want anything to do with you! We gave you the chance when we visited you in prison and you!? You're a piece of shit who left her! I don't even understand why she would take you back after all the shit you've done!" Joe yelled at his parents. Ryan had his arms crossed and looked just as upset as Joe. 
"You need to leave." Joe said. 
"Baby, we love-" 
"Don't fucking call me that!" Joe yelled before she could finish her sentence. 
They left and Joe held his face in his hands. I walked over to Joe and hugged him in silence. This affected him and it was clear to see that seeing his parents again wasn't a pleasant experience. 

POV Joe

The day after my mother came over me all I could think about was the time she once again chose drugs over me and Ryan. It happened twice and I was done with it. I had given her the chance to clean herself up and get her life together but she couldn't even do that for her own sons and what was worse was that she took my piece of shit father back. I hated him more than her. When Christine and Samantha left to do some shopping I took out some cocaine and inhaled it through my nose. I mixed that with rum straight from the bottle and drifted away in a sweet high that only came from getting completely fucked up. Whenever I was high and drunk I didn't feel pain, I didn't suffer, I felt nothing which was better than the emotions that harbored deep in my heart. When I was cross faded nothing mattered. The feeling lasted until it was time for bed. I went to bed that night feeling nothing and I preferred it that way. I knew I would have to buy some more sometime in the week. 

A couple days later I brought Christine to the recording studio to record the last songs for the new album. We needed two left and one was a duet with me and another was a duet with Paul. Before we started Christine stepped into the hallway with her large bag. When she came back I could smell the alcohol all over her. 
"Christine, are you alright?" Ian asked as he looked at her. Ian had been managing us for a while now and he needed to make sure she was in a good state to do the album. Christine's eyes were red and she had a hard time walking straight. I grabbed her arm and pulled her aside slightly. 
"Christine, what the hell?" 
"Let me go. You're not my father, you can't tell me what to do." 
Ian watched when Christine raised her voice. I clenched my jaw and bit the inside of my cheek. 
"This is completely unprofessional and you are the most professional person I know. You need to stop." I said as I walked away. 

POV Paul

When Joe walked away from Christine I made my way over to her with Ian. I was angry with Joe for letting her do this. I knew he was trying but he needed to try harder. 
"Christine what the hell is going on with you? What happened to the pure girl that is a fighter. The girl who never gives up and definitely doesn't let alcohol slowly take over her life?"
"I don't owe you or anyone an explanation. What I do with my life is my business." 
"Christine can't you see what this could do to you?" I said as I tried to get her to look at me. I pushed some of the hair out of her face. 
"I'm more than capable of stopping whenever I want plus I'll sound better this way." 
"You most certainly will not. Please Christine, don't fall into this addiction." I said as I looked at her. 
"I'm done letting people tell me what I can and can't do Paul." 
"Christine, you're better than this." 
"You don't know that! I am tired of feeling pain all the fucking time. This helps ease it and I won't stop just because you or someone else thinks I should." 
"Christine you don't-" 
"Don't continue to try and talk me out of this. It's my life and I am the only one in control of it. I have a husband and a daughter and if they are happy then I am doing my job. My happiness isn't what matters, it's theirs and especially Sam's." 
Christine was about to turn around walk off but I quickly stepped in front of her and took her hands in mine. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly against me. I felt her heart race and her breath quicken. 
"The woman I love would never do this." I whispered. When she heard that she pushed me off of her and walked over covering her mouth. I looked over at David who had witnessed the whole ordeal. 
"I have to help her somehow." 
David nodded. "I agree and you know that we are all behind you to help, we don't want anything bad to happen to her either."

A couple of minutes later Christine and Joe began recording their duet and when they finished I walked in and stood at the microphone next to her. Christine didn't even look at me. We recorded our song and when we finished she gave me one look before removing her headphones and walking out. I watched from the behind the glass and slowly removed my headphone and sighed. I needed to save her and I didn't give a shit if she wanted to or not. I wasn't going to sit back and watch her self destruct. If Joe wasn't going to try hard enough I sure as hell would.