"You like her."
"What?" I heard her say. Her voice was barely a whisper. So small and fragile like it wasn't hers. Not from the Jennie I know.
I looked at her in the eyes and smiled, "You've always liked her."
//
Warning: Complete angst. Emotional...
"What?!" I shouted at her, lowering the volume of my speaker so I can hear her better.
She was grimacing, her finger was covering her ear. "The music's great. But can you please tone it down? We can hear it outside."
"Oh. I'm sorry." I lowered the volume some more. "But why didn't you knock before entering?"
She rolled her eyes and showed me her knuckles that were almost red. "I did. Multiple times besides I was already shouting your name but you still couldn't hear me."
"Ehe. I'm sorry. I thought that my room was soundproofed enough but I guess, YG doesn't know how to spend money when it comes to me."
She clicked her tongue at what I said, "You're sulking again, Lisa. They're asking about you."
"And what did you tell them?" She joined me on my bed and copied my position. My head rested on her shoulder.
"I told them you weren't feeling fine and that you'd rather be alone."
I sighed, "I'm sorry if you guys worry about me but I couldn't even face them without flinching. My heart breaks everytime I see them being sweet and clingy, Chaeng. I don't want it but I can't help it."
She was about to open her mouth but stopped midway. She closed it again and smiled, "Oh damn. What song is this?"
"Spell by Niki."
"By who?"
"Niki Zefanya. A SEA woman like me who's a singer in America."
She nodded, "Now I get why this song has been on repeat."
She listened to the song for a while until it ended then started again. "So I'll love you till it hurts like hell, 'till God breaks this spell, huh? You like her that much?"
I palmed my face because it's the truth. "I do, Chaeng and it's making me crazy. I want everything to be back to normal."
"You know, there's nothing normal between the two of you. You were always like that or she's just like you."
"What?"
"It's either you're super cold or hate each other's guts or you're super clingy. There's no in between."
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I adjusted my position, from leaning my head to now facing her. "So what are you trying to imply, Chae? That we'll never be back to normal?"
She shook her head and tucked some loose strands of hair behind my ear. She smiled at me, her eyes soft and full of sympathy.
"What I mean is, it's going to be hard, Lisa. You'll be hurt, you'll cry, you might feel helpless but you will succeed. You've endured so much more, this could be a piece of cake. I'll help you, okay?"
