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Watching the bus door slamming open, I quickly step out, man was I tired. This year is killing me. Just a couple more days and I'll be a graduate of Rockingham County High school in North Carolina. The past few weeks I started having regrets about how I spent my high school years. All the fun and excitement of going out with friends. Making memories with them, because soon enough we will all be leaving for college. I have even more regrets of missing out on the fun things, that normal seniors do. Like Homecoming and Prom...
I got accepted to New York University, my first choice. Now that schools out, I've been playing with the idea of maybe taking a break from pursuing my dream. I was thinking of taking a gap year. I'm still undecided about that because it's going to take dedication and time to reach the goal I have in mind. A year off will add one year more before I can be called Dr. Johnson.
The year off could be bad, but it could be good too. Yes, being set back a year wouldn't be ideal. Neither would me being so burned out from all this hard work, that I throw in the towel. So a break might benefit me. A year away from the books and sleepless nights to cram for tests. It just might be what I need to be ready for future hardships. I've seen it so many times. High school students jumping in feet first, right after graduation, hyped and ready. Then bail and lose two or three years of their education, and they're not even halfway done with their medical degree, all because they're burned out, stressed, and depressed.
Even if I haven't decided just yet, I'm thrilled to be done with high school. God, summer break! Thank fuck, right? All year I've stayed busy, needing anything to occupy my mind. Never thought my high school years would be the way they've been. So much has happened since I entered through those crappy doors four years ago; that hell hole I endured for years. I have kept my grade point average a 4.0 since freshman year. It wasn't easy. Not since the nightmare, I can't wake up from happened. If I wanted to get into a good college, I had to keep up my average and keep busting my ass. I've dreamt of being a Doctor since losing my dad to a Massive Heart Attack, a month before my freshmen year. I miss him. He was a good man but had problems with booze. He was everything to me. I was Daddy's little girl.
Memories of my father put a smile on my lips as I shut the front door, slinging my book bag off my shoulder and I hang it up by the stairs. I sluggishly walk to the living room and fall back on the couch; slipping my shoes off, I sigh as I lay my body across the couch. Bliss fills my body as my aching muscles rest. The cold arctic breeze from the air conditioning set goosebumps on my arms, as it clings to my sweat covered body. It felt amazing. I rub my forehead, wincing. This bastard heat has been causing me a lot of massive migraines this past couple of weeks. That's fucking North Carolina heat for ya. Yep, a country girl born and raised, outside the city limits of Eden.
I need a break from all this, which is why I want to take a gap year. Yes, my best friend and I did things during the last four years but it's nothing I would brag about. A few parties during summer breaks and a few shopping trips as well. Unfortunately, most of my time was stuck studying and getting my college portfolio all squared. Extracurricular activities from nursing homes, to shadowing Nurse Practitioners at the county Hospital to add to my college applications. Taking a year off would allow me to live my life like a normal teenager. I know it's possible, but the other half of me disagrees. It's screaming, "No, you need to keep pushing!" It's all worth the bullshit just knowing if my father were still alive, he would be so proud of me. He was always the person pushing me and rooting for me to be what I wanted. And that's exactly what I plan on doing. This is all for him. I miss his support more than anyone will ever know.
