Beatles Oneshots

(Fat Beatles) Isle of Wight 1970

The Beatles have just finished their gig in the Isle of Wight festival, which was the hottest music festival since the Woodstock. Phil Spector has somehow convinced the band to stay together to perform in this festival, as he felt the group would really need the boost of a major music festival rather than a tour concert. The group was initially reluctant to accept it due to the screaming fans, but as soon as they finished their gig, all regrets flew out the window as they saw the amazing food trucks  and the balloons.

"I don't know why I was so hesitant to come here!" George quipped. "The foods here look far better than any of the junk that we see back in Liverpool!"

"Who else is craving a corndog right now?" Paul and John joined in. "Or an ice cream?" 

"Why not just get all of it?!" Ringo suggested enthusiastically. 

"OOH YEAH!!!" George cheered, and they all ran like a stampede toward all the food trucks where they gorged themselves with food, thinking that no one would be interested in seeing them eat.

By the time they have finished eating, they have ballooned to enormous proportions, spreading to their asses and looking like round glass balls. 

"I didn't think at all that festival foods would be so fattening..." John slurred. "AND I LOVE IT!!" 

"Um, now that we're this big, we've gotta find a way to hide away from the screaming fans..." Paul said slowly, glancing at the hoard of fans coming their way. 

"Yeah, I did NOT sign up to being crushed by a giant fan army, considering we stopped touring to get away from the fans..." Ringo groaned.

"Yeah, we gotta do something..... HEY! How about we splash ourselves in those paint vats before inflating ourselves to blend in with the balloons? That'll work!" John suggested. 

"Yeah, I mean, we've got enough blubber around us to make our skin look like latex right?" George chimed in. 

"Let's DO THIS!" They all shouted, and rolled their way to the paint vats, where they jumped right into the various colors; John was covered in spring green, Paul was covered in sky blue, George was covered in hydrangea violet, and Ringo was covered in scarlet red. 

"Can anyone else see despite the paint?!" asked Paul. 

"Yeah we can," the other 3 responded. 

"I see a helium tank right there! Let's go!" John shouted, and they all rolled their way again, this time to the helium tank, where they leapt onto the nozzle and the weight on their asses was enough to turn it on and inflate them, one by one. 

"WE DID IT!! WE'RE BALLOONS NOW, ISN'T IT COOL?!" The Beatles all said in unison. In fact, their colored blubber disguised them so well amongst the balloons that they managed to go unnoticed by the fans, so they stayed that way, until midnight came and it was time to go home. 

"OOOOKKK, how'll we get down now?" George and Ringo asked.

"The only thing I can think of is to fart all that helium gas or at least sing a hefty opera.." Paul muttered. 

John heard him, so he declared: "Let's try it then!" They tried to sing Schubert's  Erlkönig (ok it's not quite an opera but the baritone sure passes off as one) with all the high parts and all, and very soon, all that gas came out in the Beatles' newfound ability to sing opera, and soon they were on their feet again, albeit still being really chubby.

"We're back on the floor again!! Man, we never knew we could sing such a hefty piece like the opera!" George and Paul said in unison.

"Well if we had known earlier we would've included some opera in our albums or something," John replied. "It would've been a hit with the elite, hey?" "Definitely!"

So the Beatles waddled their way home, really enjoying the experience of the festival and thinking up their next breakthrough, this time as an opera group.