Beatles Oneshots

(Fat Beatles) Trouble on the Range (Part 1)

Huge shout out to @GorgingGeorge  for the idea behind this story! Check out her awesome stories and give her a follow if you could :)

Side Note: This was also partially inspired by my childhood fascination of cowboys, including a major almost faux pas involving the high school prom! If you wanna know a little more about it, please feel free to DM me to know ALL about it! :D

One fine day, the Beatles decided to go for a long holiday after having dealt with all their albums and gigs for the year. They decided that they wanted to go for a month long vacation in order to get away from the mugginess of Liverpool. It was John's idea to go Dallas, Texas for their holiday, though initially the others were confused by the idea.

"Why Texas though?" George asked, confused. "It seems no different to any other city around here.."

"I hear that there are tumbleweeds everywhere," Paul protested. "What if I get that grass in my hair?!"

"John I think you said something about there being something different about it in America right?" Ringo concluded. "What is it though?"

"I hear that the cowboy life is awesome there, and I just wanna try it!" John answered enthusiastically. "I hear that they have great foods in their diets.."

"Did you just say NEW FOOD? I'm in!" George suddenly exclaimed.

"Haha, I knew you'd say that!" John laughed. "Also there's some pretty cool cowboy fashion from what I hear.."

"Fashion? Forget what I said, I'm coming too!" Paul interjected.

"Ringo, so it's all up to you now. You wanna experience something new?"

"I can never turn down a new experience! I'm in!"

"Great! Let's pack our begs then! Dallas, Texas, here we come!"

After 2 days of packing and flying, the Beatles eventually arrived in Dallas, Texas. It was much hotter than anything they've experienced, even in the Liverpool summers. Paul immediately complained:

"This is so hot! How do Texans here survive?"

"Who knows? I guess the people here in Texas are just super tough, right?" Ringo answered.

"Man, coming to any part of America is sure like going to a whole other world hey?" John marveled. "This is a much needed break from all the routine we have to be under, right?"

"Yeah... hey! Is that a horse drawn carriage I see?!" George shouted, pointing towards the horse-drawn vehicle.

"Yeah I see it too! It's nothing like the Queen's coaches!" Paul observed. The carriage was huge, and it had a rustic, country feel to it; in addition to that it was drawn by 2 American Quarter horses, they appeared tame and had a luscious brown coat complemented by black manes. And so the Beatles headed over to the carriage, and upon greeting the carriage driver, loaded their luggage and prepared to be taken to their hotel.

However, it only took 20 hours of driving before the horses began running completely wild while they were in the Wild West, leading to a little anxiety on Paul's part. 

"OMG WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"

"This carriage is shaky! What's going on driver?" John asked, also scared out of his skin.

"I think the horses are losing it! Just try and hang on!"

But by the time they were halfway across the desert land, the horses completely lost control of themselves, throwing the entire carriage off track, leading to the Beatles and their stuff breaking out of the carriage.

"Ow, my back! What's gonna happen now? Our trip is ruined!" Ringo moaned.

"This is bad, but it's not the end lads, I see an abandoned cabin by which a group of cowboys used to live, and there is a chuckwagon by which much of the food is stored, don't forget the rum! If you wanna survive around here, you need to learn how to hunt for wild cattle for meat in the scenario of the chuckwagon running empty on supplies; I can't teach you how to hunt, but I know for sure that it's based on instinct and alertness." 

"Thank you sir, but what's going on with the horses?" George responded.

"I'm probably gonna need to take them to a vet nearby to check for rabies.. which will be a few hundred miles away from here, so I'll hopefully return to take you guys back to the airport in 5 weeks max."

"Thank you driver! I hope those horses will be ok.." And with that, the driver had to take the sick horses and ride them to civilization in order to get the horses treated.

After the driver was out of earshot, Ringo asked the lads:

"Didn't he say something about a cabin and a chuckwagon? Is it too far from here?"

"I see it, and it'll probably take us maybe 7 minutes to get there if we get off our butts and get moving!" John said, rallying the lads to get moving. The Texan heat made it so that the Beatles removed various bits of their suit in order to better bear the heat; by the time they arrived at the cabin, they had their tops buttoned down and their ties undone.

"Whew! That was quite a walk!" John panted.

"Being chased by the fans didn't make us nearly as sweaty as this walk alone has made us!" Paul complained. "I STINK!"

"Surely the cowboys have a way of cleaning up that we don't know about right?" Ringo chirped. And so they made their way in, about to be completely surprised at the way of life they would have to get used to for the next month or so.