Beatles Oneshots

(Fat Beatles) Parisian Pastry Perils

Huge shout out to @GorgingGeorge for suggesting this next around the world story!

 The Beatles have just finished a tour in Paris, 1964. Their manager Brian Epstein has decided that they should all spend their first morning free in Des Gateaux et du Pain, one of the most famous pastry cafes in Paris. While George was really happy about going to an iconic pastry shop for some quality desserts, Paul was not so sure.

"C'mon guys! Are you worried about them calories and stuff?" Paul complained. "If the rumors are true, these things are fattening!"

"Stuff this dieting thing!" John retorted. "Enjoy some pastries and live for once!"

"He's right Paul," Brian joined in. "Paris may be the city of love, but it's also famous for it's desserts, so I reckon we should try them and compare them with what we've got in Liverpool hey?"

By then, George was already drooling at the cafe window upon the sight of all the eclairs, hot souffles being served, beignets and all the other decadent desserts that were in display. Ringo wasn't too far behind him, reaching out to the mille-feuille pastries that were in the display windows as if it were some long sought after treasure. When Brian, John and Paul finally caught up to them, they headed inside the pastry cafe, ready to savor some amazing French treats.

When the Beatles and Brian all sat down, a waitress quickly came to take their order. Brian ordered a chocolate creme brulee, John ordered a plateful of lemon meringue choux buns, Paul ordered a grape mille fueille, George ordered a plate of chocolate and peanut butter eclairs while Ringo ordered a plate of vanilla beignets. And so the waitress took their orders to the kitchen after Brian made the payments, and the pastry chefs got to work.

Within a few minutes, the pastries for the Beatles and Brian came, and they ate hungrily. George was particularly happy about his eclairs and Brian with the creme brulee. However, the happiness didn't last too long, as they were ballooning up in ridiculous proportions and they soon found themselves flying out of the cafe as soon as they began speaking!

"EEEK!! WHY ARE WE SO FAT?!" Paul shrieked. "I knew coming here was a bad idea!!"

"You're worried about THAT now Paulie?" Ringo rebutted. "We're flying out the cafe with every breath we take!"

"Stop it now guys!" Brian scolded. "Someone must have nicked our food, and now we have to find a way back down!"

Little did they know that one of the more loony pastry chefs have laced the desserts with an inflation potion, which would leave victims overwhelmingly obese and flying out of the cafe with every outlet of gas they made. For that chef, seeing the Beatles and Brian fly out of the cafe in their inflated forms was satisfying to see, and he went back into the kitchen smiling smugly, but not before another pastry chef discreetly called the police since he was an eye-witness to how the chef sabotaged those meals.

Meanwhile, the Beatles and Brian were trying to find a way to deflate themselves when John came up with the idea of deliberately releasing all forms of gas. He came up with it because he found that when they were arguing while flying out of the cafe, they have deflated slightly. So he suggested:

"Hey! Since we deflated slightly while arguing, surely if we keep singing we'll deflate in no time!"

"Yeah, but what song do we sing? Bearing in mind I'm not exactly a singer.." Brian pointed out.

"We'll sing something easy then!" Paul responded.

"Hmm, how about the Everly Brothers' Wake Up Little Susie?" George suggested. "It's rocky, and the edge it gives would help get rid of most of the gas!"

And so they were all singing to that song, Brian included, and soon they landed right before the Eiffel Tower looking relatively like their normal selves, albeit with a little bit of pudge leftover in their faces from the inflation. Paul was most relieved that this happened, while Brian was just frustrated over how the treats they ate could fatten them up so quickly.

"I just can't get my mind of what could've been in those desserts," he growled. "Could we have been nicked by any of the staff?"

"If that's it, then I wanna choke the bastard!" Paul yelled.

"Calm down Paulie," George soothed. "Surely the culprit would be caught or at least reported, we should head back to the cafe to find out hey?"

And so they all walked the long walk back to the pastry cafe, where they saw a police car just outside, and the loony pastry chef being led to it in handcuffs. The pastry chef that reported him came up to the 5 men and told them everything he has seen.

"That little loony.. I hope that he never bakes again!" Paul exclaimed indignantly.

"Ah well, at least he has been caught, let's get out of here!" Brian suggested.

"Thanks for the information sir!" Ringo thanked the pastry chef before they all went back to their hotel, still bewildered by the inflation and mulling over the tastes of the actual desserts that they enjoyed, vowing to try and make them in Liverpool so that they won't be scammed again.

That's it for the adventure in Paris! Which adventure around the world do you guys wanna see next? Please let me know! Till then, much love xx