Beatles Oneshots

(Fat Beatles) Finnegan Fats vs Wiggly Workout

Dedicating this to GorgingGeorge for the idea behind this story and co-writing it with me!

Author's Note: Just imagine the Beatles and their family are stuck in the fantasy world of "The Procrastination Place" during the 2000's, it'll make sense in the story

It was a casual day in the Procrastination Place, the Beatles were just chilling and doing their own thing, herping and derping for the cameras any chance they get. Furthermore, this fantasy land has provided them with the never-ending excuse of eating to pass time, including hot dogs and chocolate mousse cakes to fill up on. 

"This is the life!" George cheered as he filled up on yet another mousse cake. "I don't think our homes have ever had such good food aye?"

"You're not wrong Georgie Porgie," John sniggered, poking at his growing belly. "I think you've eaten more than the rest of us!"

"Oh, sod off Lennon!" George retorted, poking at his double chin. "You're no better than I am!" And with that the two Beatles ended up in a tickle fight, laughing so hard that they unknowingly awakened the memeified Michael Finnegan. 

After the two have stopped laughing, John asked:

"How did we even end up here? I mean, wasn't there this TV thing we were watching with Julian and little Mary before we all got sucked in?"

"Yeah, if I remember correctly it looked like a mix between The Wiggles and Barney..."

"Hmm... But where did Paul and Ringo get to-?"

At that moment, they heard Paul and Ringo slurring as they got fatter while singing along with Michael Finnegan, who was drunkenly tossing the contents of his canned beans into their mouths while spraying them with vodka and singing. Alarmed, John and George tried to pull them away, but when the vodka showers hit their mouths, they couldn't leave. And so the Beatles ended up really intoxicated and fat, they were really no better than balls of lard now; as long as Michael Finnegan was showering them with vodka and tossing canned beans into their mouths, they were hypnotised into singing and dancing to the Michael Finnegan song. 

When Michael Finnegan ran out of vodka and beans, he trudged away to go back to sleep. The lads collapsed on their butts since their limps could no longer support their heavy blimp-like bodies. Now that they were out of their hypnotised state, Paul immediately noticed what has become of him, and in no time at all he was whining about his ruined body.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! WHY DID I HAVE TO BE HYPNOTISED BY THAT FINNEGAN DOOFUS?"

"YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE?!" John yelled back. "GEORGE AND I LITERALLY TRIED TO GET YOU AND RINGO OUT OF THERE, BUT WE GOT IT TOO! SO QUIT YOUR WHINING!"

"Stop it guys!" George scolded. "Fighting now won't get any of us anywhere! How can we lose some of this flab? Surely there is a way..."

The lads were silent for a while, when Ringo piped up. "Hey lads, I remember the Wiggles episode we watched with Julian and Mary had some energetic dances, didn't they? Anyone remember some?"

"I remember the 'Do the Monkey'..." John suggested.

"Who can ever forget the energetic 'Shake Our Hips With Wags the Dog'?" Paul chimed in.

"How about 'Hot Potato'?" George suggested, drooling as he saw a plate of potato pass by. "I'm hungry!!"

"Oh Georgie!!!" The Beatles groaned. "Now's not the time to eat!!"

"What? It smells so good you can't blame me!!!"

"Hey guys! How about we dance to 'Get Ready to Wiggle?" THAT'S iconic!" Ringo exclaimed.

"Better yet, why not a bit of everything?!" Two little voices called. The Beatles, bewildered as to where they came from, looked around. It was then in which George noticed a screen, and John and Paul recognized their son and daughter respectively.

At the same time, Ringo noticed the surroundings of the Procrastination Place dissolving into the Wiggles backdrop and the music for 'Hot Potato' began to play. Initially unable to dance much, the Beatles bounced up and down on their limbs to the beat of the music, but overtime, the bouncing burned more and more calories and they were better able to dance.

The thing with the music was that it seemed to change every time the lads got used to its beat, so the changes meant that they had to dance in order to keep up with the changes. Over time, their fat got burned away while dancing, and a white light engulfed them, taking them back to their homes.

After arriving at home, they were welcomed by Julian and Mary, who clung on really tight. The lads knew that the Procrastination Place wasn't a place they wanted to forget, and they vowed to bring their children there someday.