Beatles Oneshots

(Fat Beatles) Sail Ahoy!

Dedicating this to GorgingGeorge since it's my first Bloatles story in a while!

It was a hot day in Liverpool Beach, and the Beatles were chilling there after having gotten a hard earned holiday. John was only interested in lazing at the sand by that point, and George just wanted to eat right now.

While they were just sitting around at the beach, Paul noted that there was a slip of paper flying around, and Ringo noted that it looked like a treasure map. And thus since the idea of gold was ever so alluring, John and George stopped what they were doing and ran over to their other bandmates. As they read the map, they heard a loud noise, one that could only come with a pirate ship.

"AHOY THERE MATIES!" called a burly pirate from the ship. "WANNA JOIN ME TO FIND SOME GOOD OL' TREASURE?"

"Sure, but who are you?" John asked warily.

"Call me Captain Lumpabum! Follow me!"

And so the Beatles scrambled onto the old, creaky ship, where upon arrival they had some pirate gear chucked to them by some of Captain Lumpabum's pirates, all of whom appear somewhat overweight. Upon inspection, George noted that some of the gear weren't going to fit their skinny, lanky bodies.

"How will we fit into these oversized boots?"

"Don't talk about boots, even these pants would fall off us, and the belts won't hold them either!" Ringo chimed in.

"How do we get these to fit?" Paul quipped.

As the words left his lips, the lads heard the booming voice of Captain Lumpabum, who said:

"Easy! With each recruit we never fail to stuff them so they'll fit our goodies! Help yourself to our pirate buffet! Get the food out for our new recruits maties! Arghh!"

And so two pirate girls, both with a lot of meat on them, brought out a table full of food, which included heaps of bacon, rum and plates full of grilled fish. George, immediately began salivating, and he lunged for the food, shoving mouthful after mouthful into his mouth. The other Beatles, not wanting to miss out on the delicacies, ran right after him and gorged on everything Lumpabum had to offer.

Meanwhile, Captain Lumpabum grinned with glee as the Beatles inflated while they ate. Before too long, the lads have lost their waistlines, their cheekbones were buried in fat, their limbs have become hella stubby, and their bums have ballooned, almost to rival Captain Lumpabum's own rump.

When the eating was done, the Beatles found that they could finally slip on that pirate gear with ease. And after they did, they were astounded as to how they looked in it.

"Guys! Cyn won't be able to resist THIS beauty ;)" John smirked.

"Oh yeah? At least I've got a booty now!" George retorted.

"C'mon me maties! We're off to Treasure Island for the treasure! Let's move!" called Captain Lumpabum. And so the guys moved along, and before long, they were docked at the shore of Treasure Island.

Getting off the ship, the Beatles studied the map; it dictated that the treasure was buried in the heart of the island, which was all forest, and it was infested with cobras whose venom could at best melt fat, and at worst, disfigure the bitten area. While none of them were willing to risk that kind of disfigurement, it was through Captain Lumpabum and John's encouragement in which all of them decided to carry on with the hunt.

And so the foraging began: whenever they came across a cobra, Ringo and one of the pirate girls managed to keep them at bay by squashing them with their obese bodies. Meanwhile, George was responsible for digging up the treasure as soon as they got to the X mark in the heart of the island. John, Paul and Captain Lumpabum pulled it out, and much to their delight, the treasure chest was filled with huge gold coins and antiques!

"ARGHH ME HEARTIES! WE FOUND THE LEGENDARY TREASURES, AND IT'S THANKS TO ME BEATLES MATIES!! YO HO HO!" cheered Captain Lumpabum. All the pirates cheered along, and the Beatles were hoisted up in the air as all the pirates cheered.

"It was awesome finding the treasure with you Lumpabum, but how'll we get home?" Paul asked the captain.

"Easy matey, sailing back isn't hard to do..."

And so they hoisted the treasure onto the ship, and sailed back to Liverpool beach. During the voyage, the Beatles and all the pirates celebrated the finding of the treasure over rum, and the treasures were distributed among them. The Beatles were given a generous amount for their contribution to the finding of the treasure, and when the ship docked at the shore, they leapt off and swam back to the spot where they were.

"Thanks again for the adventure Captain!" They called out and waved as the ship sailed away.

After the ship sailed out of sight, the Beatles mused:

"Looks like we came out all the richer now!"

"Can we at least buy some food with all this gold?" George asked. "I'm still hungry!"

They all laughed at that, knowing that some things never change.