I'm Innocent( BWWM)

CH. 41 All things go

CH. 41 "All things go"

(Natasha POV)

Sometimes even when you're told that the monsters cannot hurt you, you're still scared and are still in fear, because of the impact they had left on you.

That's what was happening with me right now, I was still scared of the monster who had control of my life until now. Even now that he is gone, it still felt like he was still around.

The fact that there are certain things that still remind me of him, that just a certain smell can have me going into a panic attack.

How can I make it stop? How can I make my mind stop from living in fear, how do I tell my myself that there is no way that this person will be able to hurt me and actually make myself believe those words?

Yes, I've been told that he is unable to hurt me anymore, but that still doesn't stop the nightmares. That still doesn't stop the memories or panic attacks.

Which leads me to the state I am in now, awake and having Damian looking at me with a sorrowful expression that he didn't need to look at me with.

It wasn't his fault, but I knew it was because he was worried about me, his expression was one of the worries.

Part of me wonders, if she didn't go missing. If she just didn't get herself into that form of habit. I would have been fine right? She would have been fine right?

Why didn't she listen to me? If she had only just listened to me, none of those things would have happened to me. I would have been with her, we would have been safe and now I didn't even know if she was alive or dead.

Damian was still looking at me after I reveal more information about Jeff.

I moved myself to the edge of the bed.

"Let's talk about it later in the morning. Come here." He said to, causing me to raise a brow.

I watched as he stood up and I got up, standing up also.

I was pulled into his arm, he wrapped his arms around me causing to feel a rush of emotions.

"You looked like you needed a hug." He said to me causing my eyes to widen.

"I can't imagine everything you've been through and I know that there are things that you're not ready to talk about or even tell me. I want you to know that I understand that, I really do but I will be here whenever you're ready, whenever you decide you want to talk. I'll be here to listen if you need someone to vent to or to at least try to understand. I hope you'll consider my ears to be the ones you tell them to." He said.

I let the words sink in.

The fact that I've just recently met Damian and he made me feel like I could be this close in his presence.

I slowly wrapped my arms around him, not saying anything. It was quiet in the room, the only noise being heard was our breathing that was in sync with each other.

"I was mad at myself." I softly said.

"Why?" He asked me.

"I was angry that if I wasn't in that sort of area, the area where Jeff saw me then I wouldn't have got abducted by him. Then I would have never gone through all the pain that I have gone through by him. That the suffering that I have gone through wouldn't have happened if I just didn't put myself in that area. If I just stayed away." I said, letting the emotions out.

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"The way Jeff was able to find me was because I was going to the streets, that's where he was able to see me, that's where he was able to have his interest in me. That's when all the stalking begin." I said pulling myself away from his hug and looking at him.