insecure//e.d

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(y/n pov)

You stirred awake as you felt a cold space next to you in bed. Opening your eyes and stretching your arms, you looked over to see Ethan missing in bed. You checked the time to see it was only 2 in the morning and got out of bed. You saw the bathroom light on, so you sat back down, realizing he was just in the bathroom.

But he didn't come back. 20 minutes passed and Ethan still didn't come back to bed. Worries, you decided to go check on him, hoping he was okay. You knocked on the door of the bathroom, softly, "E?" You whispered.

You heard sniffles on the other side before Ethan opened the door. His hair was messier than usual, and his eyes were red and puffy. You looked at him, as tears fell from his eyes. Your heart breaking, you pulled him in for a hug. You felt his tears on your collarbones as you pulled away.

"Y/N-" He started crying again before he could finish his sentence.

"Baby, what happened?" You asked, rubbing his back up and down. He turned and looked at the mirror in the bathroom. "Ethan?" You tried again.

"Look at me," He said. Confused, you locked eyes with him in the mirror. You leaned your head on his shoulder and intertwined your fingers. "I'm so-" He started crying again.

"Perfect," You finished for him. "You're so perfect, Ethan." You whispered. He shook his head and you sighed.

"Why do you e-even like me?" You opened your mouth to answer, but he started talking again. "You should like Grayson. He's taller, and stronger and looks-" You cut him off.

"But I love you," He looked at himself through the mirror, "I love you Ethan, I don't love Grayson." You said.

"My arms are so too skinny and my hair is ugly and my jaw is too wide and I'm just-" You ran a finger over his bare torso. "I'm not good enough for you." He whispered.

You raised your eyebrows and turned him to face you. He looked down at you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You pressed your forehead against his, forcing him to look at you, as you played with the hair at the base of his neck.

"E," He blinked and another tear fell from his eye. "Your arms are perfect the way they are, I love being in them. Your hair is perfect, you know how much I love running my fingers through them. Your jawline is my favorite part of you, you know that." His hands played with the sides of his sweats.

"But-" You shook your head not letting him finish.

"And you are more than enough for me, okay?" He looked away, and you turned his head to face you. "I get butterflies when I see you, not Grayson. I think about you before I fall asleep and as soon as I wake up, not Grayson. I don't see anything but a friend in Grayson, but when I look at you... Ethan, I see my whole world." You felt a tear of his hit the bridge of your nose and you reached to wipe it away.

"Y/N," He said. You nodded as you wiped his tears away. "I love you." He said. You smiled at him.

"I love you most E," You said. He hugged you back now, arms around your waist. You pulled away, smiling. "Now, let's go back to sleep, okay?" He nodded.

"I'll just wash my face and be back," He said. You kissed him on the nose, before nodding and making your way back to bed.

You climbed under the sheets and layed on your back waiting for Ethan to come back. You looked into the bathroom to see his bare back leaning down to wash his tears away. You smiled as you wondered how someone as perfect as him could ever hate himself.

Ethan walked back to you as you lifted your arms to part them. Giving you a small smile he crawled into bed and fell on top of you. You let out a small laugh as he wrapped his arms completely around your waist and he let his head rest on your chest.

"Let's sleep in tomorrow," You whispered. You felt him nod his head in the dark as your hands found their way into his hair. "Feeling any better?" You whispered.

"I-" You let him finish, and soothingly ran your fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry for waking you up," He said. You shook your head, even though he couldn't see you.

"No Ethan, stop, I'm glad I woke up," He sighed and you felt his breath against your neck. "Please don't ever feel this way again." You whispered.

"I love you baby," You heard him whisper after some time. You smiled. "So, so, so much. I'm so fucking in love with you." He lifted his head to see if you were still awake and you leaned down to meet your lips with his.

"I love you too, Ethan." You whispered. He rested his head on your chest again and squeezed you with his arms. You smiled. "Now sleep, you're going to be so tired tomorrow." He nodded and you smiled.

"Fine," He whispered back.

Soon his fast, sort breaths from crying turned to soft breath. Small snores left him and you smiled to yourself. His grip on you loosened as he drifted off into sleep and you continued to play with his hair. You loved the idiot in your arms, no matter what he was like.

"I love you baby," You whispered to the sleepy boy in your arms, before you too, drifted off into sleep.  

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