Chapter 36

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The sound of the car engine surrounds us as me and Jungkook drive our way to my house. There is a storm running inside my brain right now. I can't believe after so much of years, I'm going back to the place where I lost everything, I lost me. The thought is nauseating and anxious which is killing me from inside.

I never dared to come to this part of the city, where everything would remind me of my past. But today, here I am, going to encounter my past. The road covered with snow and the landmarks all glistening under the faint sunlight reminds me of the time when I used to cross these roads daily. My heart keeps on increasing its pace as the distance of our destination decreases.

A warmth on my hand placed over my thighs bring me back to reality. Looking at the source, I see Jungkook grabbing my hand while he is focused on driving the car. I intertwine our fingers together and he give me a subtle squeeze.

"Nervous?" He asks while stroking the back of my hand with his thumb.

"Yeah, pretty much." His touch is enough to soothe my racing heart.

"Don't worry, I'm here."

"I know."

Jungkook pull the car in the familiar driveway and I can feel my anxiety nearing. Sensing my uneasiness, he give my hand another squeeze. I heave a sigh as he step on the break.

"We're here." He says quietly making me gaze at my left. I stare at the sight of once to be my heaven. "Look, if you don't wanna go, I can go inside and bring that card for you."

"No," I reply, instantly turning my gaze towards him, "I wanna go with you."

"Okay," he send a nod to me, "then let's get over this, together."

I nod before stepping out of the car. Jungkook joins me as we stand in front of the slightly parted gate. Beyond the gate, there is a big dried garden and almost wrecked looking house. My heart aches at the sight. The front portion is complete black as if, if I'd touch, it'll fall down in ashes. The one part of me sees just red, and one part of me feel vulnerable. The concrete besides the gate holds my father's name very proudly.

Jungkook leads me inside the gate. With a heavy heart, I take small steps, moving further in where all my good and the bad memories linger. The same place where I was introduced to both the devine of the world, as well as dungeon of the world.

The garden is dried up, covered with thick coat of glistening white snow. The fountain is black and destroyed. I avert my gaze from it as the memory of me and my mother sitting on the edge of it flashes. I glance at the big front door which is closed. Several flares of crime scene is sprawled across the garden.

"I think the door is closed." Jungkook says as he examines the front door.

"Um, there is a back door which should be fine." He nods to me and we both make our way towards the backdoor.

As expected, the back portion of the house if completely fine. We climb the steel staircase which leads to the door to my room. The flight up, reminds me of the time when my mom asked me to run away from the house. The memory again give me a dizzy feeling. I push back all the thoughts and flashes, and focus on what we are doing right now. Jungkook try twisting the doorknob, but it doesn't open.

"This one's also locked." He whines. "I think we gotta break it." I shrug showing him I got no ideas and he faces the door.

He back away a bit and give the door a strong kick. With just one kick, the door flies open, making me gawk at the dark alley inside. I know that he is strong, he didn't have to prove it, but this was so surprising.

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