Who do you like?

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Today was the last day of school before winter break. I couldn't wait for the school day to end so I could go home and relax. The assignments I've been getting lately have been really stressful. But it's all worth it, because now I get a 2 week break.

I walk along the sidewalk after I leave the school and let myself focus on the cool breeze to calm myself down. I look all around and the snow sparkles in the sunlight. I love the snow. It's so pretty.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I notice TJ running up to me, his blonde hair blowing in the wind. Why does he have to look so good all the time? I wish this stupid crush would go away. It's not like I'd ever have a chance with him.

"Hey, Underdog!" he greets, before walking alongside me. "What's up?"

"Nothing much, just heading home to relax. You?"

"Same. Oh, do you wanna hang out at The Spoon later?" he starts, and my heartbeat quickens. "You can invite Andi and Buffy. Jonah, too, if you want."

And there it is again. Disappointment. Sure, we've hung out alone before, but just random little stuff that's not planned. Every time he asks me to do something together as a plan, I get my hopes up that he maybe, just maybe, might be asking me on a date. But then it comes crashing down when he offers for my other friends to come.

"Sure," I agree. "But hey, do you wanna come over right now? I could help you prepare your speech that you have to present in January." I try to come up with the best possible excuse to hang out with him alone without making it weird.

"Sure, muffin, that sounds great."

My cheeks heat up at the nickname. Why does he do this to me? I need so badly to get over this crush. He's never going to like me back and I can't keep getting my hopes up just to have them smashed into tiny pieces. Ugh, but he's just so kind, and cute, and funny, and-

"We're here," TJ tells me, startling me out of my thoughts again.

"Oh, okay, let's go inside then," I say, unlocking the door. I push the door open and we walk in. "Mom?" I call out, to see if she's home.

"Hey, honey, how was your day?" My mom walks out of the kitchen, holding a cup of decaf coffee.

"It was alright. Is it okay that I brought a friend over to work on a speech for school?"

"Yeah, of course. Let me know if you need anything. I'll be on the computer."

With that, I lead TJ upstairs to my room and sit on a chair next to the window. I pull some lined paper and pencils out of my desk drawer and motion for TJ to sit down.

"So, what do you want your speech to be about?" I ask him, nervously fiddling with the pencil in my hand.

"I dunno. Maybe basketball?"

"That's a good idea! I'll write that down, and you think of more ideas."

"I can't think of anything. It's just really hard to think right now."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just...well, okay. I-I sort of have this crush. And I can't stop thinking about hi- them. I can't stop thinking about them. But it's hopeless. They'd never like me back," he confesses, looking down.

For some reason I thought he almost said 'him', but that's impossible. He's obviously straight. I need to stop doing this to myself. I keep imagining little things like this that would never happen, and it just hurts me more.

"Oh. I'm sure they'd like you back, Teej, it's fine. Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him.

"N-no, I can't. It's okay, let's just work on the assignment."

"Can you at least tell me who you have a crush on?"

"No! Definitely not. I just-can we please not talk about this?" I can see his hands start to sweat.

"I'm really sorry TJ, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I just thought best friends could share with each other."

I wish we were more than best friends, I think to myself. But he probably has a crush on some pretty girl that could never compare to the mess I am.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I wish I could tell you but I just can't," he says, looking down again.

"Hey! I have an idea!"

"What is it?"

"Let's play hangman! I can guess the letters of your crush's name; if I guess it, that's good, but if I lose beforehand I won't ask you about it again. Deal?"

"Um....okay. Deal." He hesitantly shakes my hand.

I get out a piece of blank white paper and draw the basics. Then I let him write the underscores down. It's the same length as my name but I tell myself not to think much of it.

"Okay, so I guess I'll start now," I say, deciding to begin with random vowels. "A?"

He writes an A, second to last letter.

"E?"

He writes an E at the top of the sheet and starts to draw the hangman.

"O?"

He writes two O's next to each other after the first letter on the last name. It's starting to look like my last name but I still don't want to get my hopes up. I mentally scold myself for thinking that and try to convince myself that it's just a coincidence.

"Y"

Correct.

"U"

Correct again.

"D"

It's correct and at this point my heart is beating so hard I feel like I can't breathe.

"TJ...I know I said I'd guess the letters but this is too much, please tell me the name."

I'm hoping he just thinks I'm getting bored. But the truth is that it's so close to my name and I'm having so much trouble keeping my hopes down that I just want him to tell me the name of the girl so I don't have to suffer any longer.

"Are you sure? I'm scared, Cyrus..."

"You don't have to be scared. I don't care who you like, even if it's my worst enemy just be honest, please."

But I do care. I'll support him no matter who it is, but I want it to be me. But it's not, and I know it.

"It's-it's you," he says in almost a whisper.

"It's me?" I squeak. Man, I hate voice cracks.

"I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, I can leave now if you want."

"No! No, stay! I like you too, TJ. I like you so much and I was so scared I was being delusional when it started to spell my name but I wasn't and I'm so relieved."

"Really? I'm so happy you have no idea oh my-"

"Just kiss me!" I cut him off.

He grabs my head and kisses me softly. I kiss back and enjoy the moment. I'm kissing TJ Kippen! He's kissing me back! And he likes me! This is the best day ever! Happy thoughts swirl through my head. We separate and my cheeks heat up for the second time today. I can see he's blushing too.

"Well, that just happened," he says, smiling shyly.

"Woah," is all I can say as I look into his green eyes.

Suddenly I hear something fall outside my door. I run over and open it to see my mom picking up an empty glass cup from the ground.

"Mom, were you eavesdropping on us??" I ask loudly.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it! I overheard part of the conversation and got interested," my mom admits. "I'm happy for you, Cyrus. You better treat him well, TJ."

Well, that went better than I thought.

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