The Forbidden Fruit

5: Ignoring Reality

I've been asked to dig deeper about my feelings for her. What attracts me to her is that she's different.

To me, it's not just about her body or her beauty. It's all the small things that no one cares to pay attention to.

She presents herself as someone I know deep down she isn't. I do not know why she does it but I want to know. I want to know everything about her. Her fears, dreams, favorite bands, movies, foods, her celebrity crushes, where she's from, where she's been in the world, or if she tripped whilst walking down the road she has been too familiar with. 

I want to meet her family and become a part of it. I want to take her on a romantic and cheesy date. I want to tell her corny jokes just to hear her laugh. I want to stay up all night watching Disney movies and chick flicks. I want to hold her tight and listen to her childhood stories and memories.

I just want to do everything with her.

I just want to be the one that makes her smile.

I want to make her the happiest woman alive.

I want to help make all her dreams come true.

I want to buy her things randomly just to show her that I value her.

She will be treated nothing less than a Queen.

I will make a way for her to get any and everything she wants.

I just want to make her happy and I fear that I will never get the chance to.

Sadly we are from two different worlds.

She'll probably never want me and I honestly do not blame her.

Why would she want someone like me? I'm a freak and she deserves someone normal who will treat her better than I will ever do.

I bit my lip seeing what I just wrote. Is this deep enough? I always want to impress her and I want to make sure that this is what she wants out of me. Do I need to broaden my vocabulary more? use deeper meanings to show how serious I am? 

I looked up at the clock and saw there was 15 minutes left of class. I have time to add a little more. I sighed and thought for a bit trying to find something else to add.

I want to be able to do all cheesy things in movies. Just lay in bed looking in each others eyes, but I am the biggest freak alive.

How would she feel about me holding her? or even kissing her? because I cannot control it, it just happens.

She's just always in my mind. She even haunts my dreams. She is just perfect and I am afraid I am never going to get a chance to show her that she is perfect in every way to me.

What if I am too young?

What if I am not mature enough for her?

What if she just doesn't want me because I am different?

What if she doesn't like bangs?

What if she doesn't like me generally?

I just want to be enough for her. I hope I get a chance to show her that she is all I want and that I will make her the happiest woman alive if she's gives me a chance to do so.

I looked up at the time and saw there was five minutes left. I put my pen away and I tore the paper out.

I folded the side and tore off the unnecessary paper that holds onto the spirals. I put my notebook away and as I zipped my bag up, the bell rung.