Chapter twenty nine

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Luna's pov:
I'm still sitting by the window playing with my locket. I don't even know how long it's been anymore.

"Luna please come out of your room. This isn't healthy," James says softly.

I don't say anything just sit there looking out of the window letting my thoughts consume me.

"Luna, you know Cameron wouldn't want you to mope around. He would want you to be happy," he says with his voice slightly cracking.

I walk up to the door and open it. 'Well he wanted a lot of things in life, but guess what he won't be able to because he's dead,' I sign emphasising on the word dead.

He looks down sad and in shock that I'm not talking but using sign language.

"Luna your like a little sister to me, literally the only family I have besides the gang and it's killing me to see you like this, please come out of your room," he says looking into my eyes and I watch a tear fall.

I hug James. 'Okay...'

"Okay enough with the sad shit. You are going to go into your room, have a shower and freshen up, then your going to get changed and we are going to go to school!" Kelsey says with a stern voice.

Where the hell did she come from?

I nod and walk into my room. When I do I hear them whispering. I hear James telling Kelsey that he thinks I'm mute again and it was Ashton's fault.

Ashton...

I go into the shower and once I'm done I dry myself and brush my teeth. I walk into my closet and I put on a red hoodie that used to belong to Cameron until I stole it. It still smells like him. I put on black leggings and a pair of black sneakers.

I head downstairs and see Mamie, Kelsey and James eating breakfast. Mamie sees me and gives me a hug which I return.

I walk up to the table and help my self to some waffles.

Once we all finished me and the girl head out but before I do James stops me.

"Luna if you really can't stand being in school call me and I'll pick you up okay?"

I nod and walk out.

Me and the girls decide to go to school in the same car and Kelsey's driving.

When we arrive everyone looks at me.

For some reason all I feel like doing is to cry. To cry all my pain away. I feel like curling up in a ball. I feel so insecure with people looking at me and I don't know why.

"Luna remember to always be strong because your beautiful and amazing. Don't let anyone get rid of the sparks in your eyes." Cameron's words come into my head.

I take a deep breath and walk into the school with Kelsey and Mamie following behind me.

I walk to my first class which was art and neither Kelsey or Mamie are with me. I pull up the hood of my hoodie and start drawing shutting out all of my surroundings.

Why am I like this?
Can one person really completely change a person?

"Luna that is an amazing drawing," my art teacher says snapping me out of my thoughts.

I look at the picture I drew and realise it was a picture me on Cameron's back when we were at the park. A smile came across my face remembering that day.

We went to the park and we were playing on the slides and swings like we were little kids. We got tired so we decided to go and get ice cream, but my legs were aching from wearing heals all day so he let me go in his back and carried me all the way to the ice cream shop.

A tear slips from my eye and I see the teacher looking at me. Before she could say anything the bell rings and I quickly get up and leave.

===========================
It's now lunch and all I've been able to think about is Cameron. Instead of staying in the cafeteria I decided to go outside for some fresh air.

I tell Kelsey and Mamie that I want to be alone and they nod understanding.

I walk outside and see a tree. I walk up to it and sit under it. I look around and see people laughing and smiling while I'm hear moping around. I can't stand to see everyone happy so I pull out a book from my bag and start to read it.

After 15 minutes I feel a pair of eyes on me so I look up and to meet a pair of hazel eyes.

Those eyes used to make me smile. They used to make me feel safe. They used to make me feel unstoppable, but now I see the eyes belonging to the person who murdered my best friend and the thing is I still love him...

He killed someone who meant everything to me. I hate him, but at the same time I don't.

I pull out my phone and text James to pick me up. He responds straight away and says he's in his way.

I look up and see him still staring at me. I can see pain and regret in his eyes, but also love.

We stare at each other for a few more minutes until he decides to walk towards me.

No no no no.

Tears began swelling in my eyes.

I move my gaze away from him and I see James glaring at him. I quickly grab my things and run towards James. He opens his arms allowing me to be in his embrace.

I see Ashton look down in sadness and walks away.

I wanted to run up to him and tell him it's going to be okay and that I love him, but I can't. I can't look into his eyes.

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