Mute

Chapter thirty

It's the next day, I take a deep breath and get ready for school. I put on jean shorts and I put on one of Cameron's shirt. It gives me a slight comfort that he's with me when I know in reality he isn't.

When is the void inside of me going to leave? I feel like I'm suffocating and no one can help me. People tell me that they understand how I feel, but they don't. No one does.

Yes, people might have lost someone who is close to them, but everyone is different. People cope in different ways. No one can feel exactly what I'm feeling. I'm alone and trapped with a broken heart.

I snap out of my thoughts and head downstairs. I skip breakfast and go straight to school.

When I arrive the girls are by the entrance waiting for me. They give me a smile and return it. Kelsey's been happy lately because her and James have gotten better and he actually managed to get the courage to ask her on a date. Mamie and Daniel have gotten closer and hang out more.

Everyone is getting on with their lives, but me. It's like everyone forgot that Cameron died. James and Cam used have their own little bromance, Kelsey and Mamie saw him has a brother. Even the gang saw Cam as someone they look up to even though he's in another gang.

How can everyone just act like he never died?

"Luna?" Cam says

I look up to meet his eyes.

"If anything happens you'll never forget me right?" He says looking down at me.

'Of course I won't. I can never forget you. I will remember you till the day I die' I sign.

He smiles at me.

"I don't think I can ever forget you either," he says causing me to smile.

He grabs my hands and holds them in his.

"I'll always be with you no matter how far apart we are because I'll always be in your heart."

'Promise.'

"I promise Luna.."

I place my hand by heart and a small smile places on my face.

"Luna you coming?" Mamie asks snapping me out of my thoughts.

I nod my head and follow Kelsey and mamie inside to first lesson.

When I walk in a felt a pair of eyes on me. I look to see who it was and see Ashton. I move my gaze away from him sitting down.

The whole lesson I could feel his eyes in my while I try to ignore them playing with my locket.

The bell rings and rush out of there. I take a deep breath and head to my next lesson which was art.

I usually love art, but after that moment with the teacher when she saw me crying I don't know if I want to go.

I close my eyes taking deep breaths, which I've been doing a lot lately to help steady my heart beat. I open my eyes and walk to class.

I take a seat at the back corner so I can be alone.

"Okay class I want you to draw something that means something to you. It needs to symbolise something that happened in your life," the teach says.

I put in my head phones and start drawing. I finish my drawing and look at it. It was a picture of a single rose, but not just any rose. It was a matching tattoo me and Cam got and it symbolises hope and new beginning because we both been through so much and we're each other's hope for happiness. Well was hope for each other's happiness.

It's now lunch. Once again I was under the tree reading a book. I see a shadow casting over and I look up to see Ashton. I stand up and look at him, but not in the eyes. I can't look at him in the eyes, not after everything that's happened.

"Luna..."

"I want to talk to you please," he says softly.
I stay quiet waiting for him to carry on. It's not like I can talk anyways.

"I'm sorry Luna. I never meant to hurt you like this. If I could go back in time I would, but I can't. I know your suffering and I hate seeing you like this. It's torture seeing you like this and it's killing me that I'm the reason behind it."

Tear start spilling out of my eyes. I open my mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. I pick up my stuff and start walking away, but Ashton grape my hand pulling me into his embrace.

"Luna, I love you and when your in pain I'm in pain. When your hurt I'm hurt. When you die I die."

I break down into sobs as the killer of my best friend comforts me. I push away and I open my mouth once more.

"I love you too, but I can't. I can't hug you without thinking of Cameron. I can't look into your eyes without the memory of Cameron dying in front of me. I can't love you without Cameron's face coming into my mind. I just can't," I shout as the tears stream down my face.

Ashton pins me against the tree.

"Then don't. No one is telling you to forget about Cameron, but you need to move on. When you look at me think about how much I love you. When I hug you think about how I'll protect and keep you safe. When you love me think about how much I love you back." He says as tear slips from his eyes holding my waist tight like I was going to disappear.

"Okay I'll try, but I can't promise you it will work," I whisper.