INDEFINITE ✔️✔️

∆ 2. YOU DON'T KNOW ∆

Jin's

Months have passed, we gave up looking for Jungkook. We searched high and low, every outskirts In Korea, there is no place we haven't been to. I can see Taehyung is so much devastated and broken it pains my heart seeing him lose himself when Jungkook left.

He still lives in my house, it's not a problem for me, it's completely okay. But what's not okay is that I can see him bring guys and different women in my house and in the middle of the night I'll be woken up by their moans and the creaking of their bed. Our rooms has connecting doors in it but it seems like he forgets that I exist and I can hear everything they do.

If I don't have these hidden feelings for him I might just ignore it and let him be, but no. I love him, I love him so much it hurts.

It hurts everytime I need to fake a smile and be strong in front of him and pretend it's okay whenever he asks me why my eyes were too puffy. How his embrace that is supposed to comfort me becomes torture but I can't say a word because I don't want to ruin what we have. This is the closest I can get to him, I'm afraid that if he knew he would be gone and leave me because his heart only belongs to Kookie.

"Hyung! Good Morning." I was startled when I heard his voice, I'm in the kitchen cooking breakfast for him and his 'guest' I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't felt his presence.

I turned around and saw him wrapping his arms around that woman's waist and he looks at her as if he was to devour her. They were sitting in the dining area for fuck's sake! If they can't respect me, respect the food instead. They didn't even bothered helping me out preparing the table. They just waited to be served. I felt like a slave in my own house right now.

"Ehem." I wanted to grab their attention but they didn't even throw a glance at me. They started making out in front of me.

I wanted to cry as of the moment but I can't I would look weird.

I forcefully placed the plate in front of them and it seemed to work, Taehyung pulled away from her and smiled sheepishly at me, "Sorry hyung. I just can't get enough of her."

That's it! I can't take it anymore I feel so disrespected. O felt hurt. I felt jealous.

"I had kept silent all throughout this time but if you want to fuck around the house, you better leave. You can't act like that here. You're disrespecting me, you don't even ask for permission if you can bring someone here you just go home and when I open the god damn door you'll walk in and make out right in front of my face, not to add up that I can't sleep each night waiting for you to come back and with the noises you made every time you fuck someone on the other room. Do you know how much it hu-"

I bit my lip and stopped talking or else I will slip and tell him everything I feel.

I walked out of the kitchen and stormed into my room. I locked myself up in my room he won't follow me anyways. I cried hard, letting everything out, I'm too dumb and stupidly in love with him it hurts so much that I can't even let out what's in my heart, nobody knows how hard it is too keep this all bottled up.

I was crying that I can barely breathe, my chest is tightening, I'm feeling dizzy. I clutched my chest and my vision is becoming blurry. I tried to lie down, thinking it would ease but nothing is working. If Taehyung is just considerate enough that maybe his favorite hyung also has feelings, he would know how much everything hurts.

I was there through everything and I was the one with him when he needed something or he needed someone to run to. I was there, but I never got noticed. I was there but I was always neglected.

I hear knocking on my door but I was too weak to got up I didn't know what happened next, I was in so much pain to care. I continued crying and crying, hoping I can find more strength to hold on each passing days.

===

Taehyung's

"Hyung!"

Jin hyung walked out on me and went to his room. My gaze followed him as he leaves. Hyung looks so hurt.

What have I done? He must've been so disappointed with me. I know I've done things, not so good things when Jungkook left and Hyung witnessed all of that.

He tried talking to me the first occasions that I brought different person to fuck in his house, saying I should not do those things just because Kookie left me, he said there's a lot of person that I can love and will love me back.

I never listened. He won't get it, he doesn't know how it feels to love and be left hanging without any reasons why he is gone. Hyung doesn't know that. He is too reserved to even feel romantically involved with someone.

Nobody knows how painful it is and it's my way of coping up, having sex, thinking it's Jungkook that I'm fucking every night. Having sex is like my way out of reality, I'll get tired after I'm spent, then I won't have time to think about Jungkook and all the what ifs in my mind.

"Taehyung," the girl named, Erika? Mika? Eureka? I forgot, called me wrapping her arms around me. I can't do this now. I've disappointed Jin hyung and I need to talk to him.

"You can leave now. I'll call you again." I escorted her to the front door and when she left, I went upstairs and I can hear his sobs.

I really messed up, Jin hyung won't act like this if he isn't disappointed. He always say that my pain is his pain and I can see it now.

He is such a great friend I can't ask for more. He's been there when times are tough and he's still there when times were great, aside from Jungkook he's the only constant in my life.

I knocked on the door but he won't answer me.

"Hyung! Open the door!"

I knocked for some minutes and he's still not answering, his sobs were getting louder and I instantly know what's happening. He's having a hard time breathing again. It only happens when he's so stressed.

And right now I'm the cause of that stress. I rushed downstairs and get the spare keys he keeps hanging in the wall, and used it to open his room.

I entered his room and I saw him struggling to breathe, he is clutching his chest. I brought him to my arms and instructed him to breathe properly.

"Hyung, it's me. Calm down, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Calm down now. Breathe through your nose, hyung. Inhale slowly."

I rubbed his back and he is still crying hard, I hate to see him like this, it breaks my heart, especially if I'm the reason he's like this.

I kept encouraging him to breathe properly until he obeyed and listened to me.

"There, inhale slowly, exhale slowly. Don't breathe through your mouth, breathe through your nose okay. Calm down, hyung."

His breathing slowly went back to normal but his eyes is still close. He must've been so tired. His eyes still flows with tears, he looks exhausted.

I examined his face and I can see how his weight dropped down, his eyes has dark circles under it. He must be stressing so much about me.

I kissed his forehead before speaking, "I'm sorry hyung. I have to put you through this."

Thoughts? I love reading your comments even if I don't reply it makes me energized to write ❤️