INDEFINITE ✔️✔️

∆ 5. SELFISH ∆

After a few days ...

Taehyung's

I saw Seokjin hyung doing something on his laptop tonight, the door on his room is quite opened and I can see from here that he is overworking himself again. It's already late at night and he is still awake.

We are okay now. After that night of our argument, I realized I really did crossed the line, I stopped bringing people over and doing nasty things with them. I stopped going to clubs and drinking myself to death.

Seeing Seokjin hyung so devastated and worried about me made me do those things. I can't let him down this time, he is the only one left that never gave up on me and I can't lose him or I'll go insane.

We were okay again, best friends again, but something changed, he is much distant than before , I can't really pinpoint it, but I can feel it something changed. He is still warm and welcoming but it lacked something that I used to enjoy whenever he gives me a hug or a smile, suddenly that disappeared. And I missed it. I miss something that I never knew existed. I can't explain it well but it's making me sad and empty. It's not about Jungkook, I'm sure of that. It's about Jin hyung.

I entered his room and walked over his bed. I made my way to embrace him and lie on his chest. He stiffened a little bit and He paused what he is doing.

"What do you need, Taehyungie?"

He ruffles my hair and smiles at me. There it is again, Jin hyung looks at me but his eyes is hollow. Everytime I look at it I immediately feels sad.

"Nothing. I just want to be close to you like this. I miss you hyung."

"Taehyungie, we just saw each other this morning."

He started fixing his things and I just cling to him like a koala.

"Taehyung, why are you like that? Get off me!"

"I don't want to. I'll sleep with you tonight."

He just sighed and looked at me in the eyes, "You miss Jungkookie, right? That's why you're like that?"

I looked down, he really does know me.

"I knew it. Did you try contacting his parents? Maybe they can help?"

"I did hyung," he tried to remove my hands around him but I refused, "but they are not answering me. I guess Jungkook really doesn't want to talk to me."

"Then rest. If he doesn't want to talk to you then it's okay, you've done your part now focus on yourself."

I pulled us down so we can lie in bed together, I am spooning him now and I intertwined our hands.

"I know hyung. I know. Thank you." I kissed his temple and pulled him closer.

"For what?"

"For not giving up. For always understanding. For staying. I'm sorry I disrespected you and ignored you a thousand times before, but promise, I'll not do it again."

"Even if Kookie comes back?"

It wad just a light whisper accompanied by a heavy sigh, so inaudible, but I heard it.

"Even if Kookie comes back. You both will be my priority. I'm still hoping he'll come back and we will be okay again. If he comes back I'll be so happy. I'll have my best friend and I'll have the love of my life. Then my life is complete."

Jin hyung didn't answered me, he's asleep. I closed my eyes and inhaled Jin hyung's scent and it helped me sleep fast. Ever since Kookie left me, Jin hyung's arms is the only place I can sleep well and feel protected more than anywhere else in the world.

Jin hyung is my safe place and I want him to be with me all throughout my life. I may be selfish, but I don't want him to find someone to love, I realized that when I lived with him. I don't want him to have another man snuggle this close to him, or hold him like I do. Only I is allowed to do that because when he finally found someone, then I would be out of the picture, he will only care for that man and will always spend time with him. The mere thought of that is double the pain compared to when Jungkook left me.

I won't allow anyone to take Jin hyung away from me.

You can curse and say anything about the characters, just don't go overboard, okay? Talk to them, it helps all three of us realize some things, but most of all you make me want to continue this 😂 iloveyou all 💜