INDEFINITE ✔️✔️

∆ 16. NOWHERE ∆

Taehyung's

It's been days and after that talk with Jin hyung, I was banned from visiting his room and I moved out of his house. And the only way I see him is when I always try to sneak in his room and that's the closest I'll ever get to him, peeking on his window checking if he is okay or doing well.

I can still see him cry and weep every night talking to our baby that we never get to see because I was an asshole. It breaks my heart too, nobody would believe me, but it's true I wanted to change everything but I can't do anything. All I do is mess it up and ruin everything.

Jungkook and me is also a mess too. We are always fighting, just like now. We don't talk with each other as of the moment because I forgot that we have agreed on meeting up somewhere and he waited for hours and I never came.

He is asking me where the hell I am and I answered him I'm on the hospital looking our for Jin hyung. Of course he got so mad.

"Taehyung." Jungkook called for my attention and I looked at him.

"I know that you love me, you said it yourself but I'm having doubts now. You always talk only about Jin hyung, always about Jin. You never stopped mentioning him, even in your sleep you call for him! Do you really love me? Are you still in love with me?"

I don't know. That's what I want to say. Everything is a mess right now because of me. I can't decide on whet to feel and I can't determine what I feel.

I did not answered and Jungkook looks defeated he started crying. He sat beside me and held my hands so tight.

"Taehyung please, please answer me! Do you still love me? Or Jin hyung already replaced me in your heart?"

"I don't know."

He cried harder but my heart is not feeling the same thing every time a tear drops in Jin hyung's eyes. I thought I was going to feel triple the hurt when Jungkook cries but no, I only feel pity and sympathy bit I was feeling great pain when it's Jin.

Am I in love with him? Or I'm guilty because of what happened?

"Taehyung, please. Don't leave me. I'm begging you. Even if you don't love me just stay with me. I can't live without you. If you leave me I will harm myself and die! Don't go away from me Taehyung. Stay here!"

Jungkook looks desperate and he is so sure of his decision.

"Taehyung! Don't just look at me! Answer me! Say if you'll leave me so I can arrange my funeral and say goodbye to everyone!"

I wad pissed at him for acting like this but I can't be an asshole or he'll literally die.

"Okay."

I gave him my answer but I knew it was half-hearted. If only I can beg Jin for him to stay maybe I would've done that. But I can't get him back now. It's too late.

====

After a week ...

I didn't had the time to visit him for days because Jungkook is hurting himself all the time and I need to tend on him and look out for him to make sure he won't kill himself.

Now, I'm here again and I saw that Jin hyung's room was empty and I asked the nurses where he is. They said that he is discharged two days ago.

I left the hospital and go straight to his home and what greeted me was a sign board that tells that the house is being sold.

"Hyung, where are you?"

I whispered to the wind. Frustration is getting the best of me. I lost Jin hyung and he was nowhere to be found. I won't be able to make up for all the things I did. I lost my world because I was too blind and I don't think of my actions. I lost everything now and I won't be able to take them back.

This is short but I'll see you again later ;)