INDEFINITE ✔️✔️

∆ 20. HARSH TRUTH ∆

Taehyung's

"Y-you're pregnant?" I can't believe what I'm hearing. Of course there is a high possibility that he might get pregnant, we had sex just when I saw him.

"Yes. Three weeks. I got checked the other day. Now, leave me or this baby will die!" Jungkook screamed and his face turned red, his eyes blazing with anger and grief.

I don't know what is the right thing to do. I don't want to risk the baby's life but I also don't want to associate with Jungkook anymore. Aside from the fact that I don't love him, he is really getting way out of hand and needs help.

"Kookie, stop! The child didn't do anything! Don't include him into this!"

"No! I will include this child into this mess! I don't want my child to grow up without a father! I want him to have a complete family and you are taking away that from him!"

How can I make him understand that I will just hurt him if I force myself? That's what happened to Jin hyung, and if I commit the same mistake and do the same pattern, nothing will change, I will just continuously be the cause of pain for someone.

But what about my child? I can't lose another one, I've lost my first child already.

I stood up and guide him to sit beside me on the bed.

"Jungkook, listen to me, I want the child. It's mine. But, I can't force myself on loving you again. Don't make this hard for yourself. You will only get hurt. Don't force things Kookie. I can't make myself live you again. And to be honest, like a hundred percent honest, I only realized now that maybe I did loved you only for a span of time."

Jungkook was in the verge of tearing up again but he needs to hear this so he won't hope that we still have a chance.

"I figured it out that the sole reason I stayed was because of the information that we are a couple. But love? Jungkook, it feels so different. This one whole year with Jin hyung, it was the happiest and safest I've felt all this years, too bad I was an ass to let his love slip and now I lost it. But the point is, love feels different when I'm with you, it feels like I needed to love you and my mind is set that I SHOULD love you, but my heart was set for somebody else."

His tears fell and he is angry.

"I don't want to explain further because you will hate me for that. It's enough that you know the truth."

I sighed, this is it, "I can be a father to my child but to be a lover? A husband? I'm sorry I can't. I only plan on reserving that for Jin hyung."

I know I'm hurting him, I can see it, I'm not blind but I would rather have that than to make him hope. "You can stay here, Kookie. Until you give birth. But we won't be sleeping in the same room. When you gave birth, I will hire someone to take care of the both of you until you can live your life again, we will discuss how we will work that out on the future, but that's it for now."

Jungkook grabbed a fistful of my shirt and kissed me hard. With all my strength I pushed him away. "What are you doing!"

"You just say those things, Taehyung! You love me! I'm your first love! You just enjoy having sex with Jin hyung that's why you want him back! I can give that to you and you'll be much more satisfied!"

I shook my head, he doesn't get it. "Kook, throughout the year Jin and I didn't have sex except that night that I was so drunk. And it's more than that, it's more than just sex."

Yes, there are times that I'm so tempted on just having sex with him, but no, I think it's the thought that he is my hyung affected a lot and I don't like doing it with him. Not because he is not attractive or can't make me go crazy, trust me, his scent alone is a trap. He can turn me on by just that.

But why can't I do it is mainly because I knew deep down that he is pure and untouched. All throughout the three years he said he never had a boyfriend. We always tease him before but looking back, the reason why he never entered a relationship is because he loves an asshole like me.

"Then what is it! What is this all about? You loved me before right? Then love me again! What's hard with that?"

I'm losing my patience.

"Answer me, Taehyung! You can always love me again!"

"No! I can't love you again! How many times will I repeat that it's Jin that I want. All along it's Jin, but because I'm stupid, I stayed with you even if it feels wrong! I stayed with you because I foolishly believe that ny first love should be the last one I'll be with for the rest of my life! But because of that foolishness, my true love had to leave me because I'm good for nothing!"

"Just accept the fact that I will only be a father to your child but I'm not going back to you! I will wait for Jin hyung even if it takes forever. If you don't want to move on then, it's your choice! Don't blame me for you actions! I'm giving you a way out but you chose to stay, then face the consequences of your decision!"