Déjà vu | Jungkook fanfiction [Completed]

1.23. Resolve

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Life has no meaning

Until you give it a meaning

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Ilhoon sighed in front of me and silence engulfed us once again.

When he found me in the drugstore buying too much Fentanyl, he understood my intention in no time and begged me to not do what I was trying to do.

He then took me to his lab, saying something about change of scenery and stuff, and sat me down on his couch, taking a seat in front of me. The tea in our cups was turning cold as he kept rubbing his face as if he was trying to form sentences in his jumbled mind.

"I'm not gonna ask why because I know your situation. But I'm gonna ask... is it worth it?" His eyes held mine, mild despair crossing his expression. "There's many years to come, you're one of the most intelligent and talented people I know. Life has so much to offer, Ina... Are you giving up on that? On yourself?"

"I don't want what life has to offer," I deadpanned. "I want relief. I want this pain to stop."

He nibbled on his bottom lip, perhaps mulling over my words before sighing once again.

"I don't think Kookie would want that, Ina..."

I turned away from him, fixing my gaze to the tiled floor.

"And I've been holding myself back from saying this but... don't you think all this is so sudden?"

Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked back at him again. "What do you mean?"

Inhaling deeply, he rubbed his hands together before clapping them. "I mean, Kookie is one of the best police officers in the country. The boy wouldn't just blindly go to an abandoned place alone without informing anyone. He was just..."

I grew more confused when he suddenly became quiet. "He was just what?"

The mint haired man eyed me warily before exhaling deeply. "He was just telling me how much he wanted to have... a child with you..."

My breath hitched, eyes going wide. My voice failed me as I couldn't utter a single word.

"Not even having an argument with you would make him do that. He's a smart kid... There must have been something we didn't know of."

Suddenly, the writing in my notebook in the courtroom flashed before my eyes. The words that I never wrote even though it was my own writing. Just when I felt something was wrong, those words stopped my train of thoughts then and I had already forgotten all about it.

Ilhoon was right, and now, all I thought was what actually happened that night.

"Something we didn't know of?" I repeated, replaying the scenes again in my head. "Something that was supposed to be hidden away perhaps... The judge was so fast to imprison the alleged murderer with little to no evidence."