Elements

Chapter 22

John's POV

I wipe the tears from my eyes as I rush away from Alex.

Stupid Alex. Stupid, blind, handsome, bastard, Alex. I hate him. I hate his stupid face for being too cute. I hate his stupid kind eyes. I hate him for leading me on. I hate myself for falling for him. I hate myself for expecting that he could be mine. I hate myself for thinking that he could be that boy. 

I rush back to my dorm, hopeing that my roommate isn't there. My hands are shaking as I unlock the door. Once the door swings open I let my bag drop to the ground and flop onto my bed. I run my hand through my hair, pulling my ponytail out. Don't think about Alex, don't do it. I repeat in my head like a mantra. It does nothing, Alex's eyes still seem to pierce through my soul. 

I roll over and start throwing punches at my pillow. Pounding the feather sack into my college-issued mattress. I punch it over, and over, and over, and over. Until my wrist aches and tears stream down my face, blurring my vision. I finally burry my face in the battered pillow and scream. The scream turns into quiet sobs as I curl up into a ball on top of the covers. 

About twenty minutes later my phone rings, I ignore it without even checking to see who it is. The ringing stops but immediately starts up again. I grab my phone. Seeing Peggy's contact picture doesn't bring me any comfort. I decline the call and shut my phone off. It's not long before someone, I assume Peggy, bangs on my door. I stay silent. 

"John I know you're in there!" Peggy yells. I say nothing. "John open up!" I press my pillow over my ears and turn away from the door. "Fine," She huffs. "So you're going to be like that," She stops banging, but I don't hear her leave. Then I hear her unlock the door and turn the knob. 

"Peggy! What the heck! How did you get a key!?" I say sitting up in bed, a little annoyed. All I want right now is to be alone.

"That's not important Johnny boy," She sits on the edge of my bed, crossing her legs sassily and giving me a somewhat suspicious grin. "Anyway, you have been crying your eyes out and you need some friendship," She holds up a plastic bag. 

"Thanks but I'm okay," I roll back over. She grabs my sholder and pulls me back over to her. 

"Oh trust me, you'll want some of this," She pulls four cartons of Ben and Jerry's ice cream out of the bag. 

"Oh no, Ben and Jerry's my ultimate weakness," I roll my eyes as I crack a smile She opens a carton of Cherry Garcia and hands it to me along with a spoon. I sit up and scoot next to her and take the ice cream. She opens a carton for her self and we start eating in silence. 

"So, do you want to talk about it? Or do you just want to consume?" Peggy asks when I'm a good halfway through the cartoon.

"I'd rather not right now." I respond with a mouthful of ice cream. "Do you have anything else to consume or did you just bring Ben and Jerry's?"

"There's a huge bag of Watermelon Sourpatch Kids in the bag,"

"Holy shit you're the best," I say.

"I know," She grins and flips her ponytail into my face. I laugh and playfully shove her shoulder. She shoves me right back, I laugh even harder, and end up snorting. This makes her laugh, and she has the most infectious laugh so we end up laughing for a solid three minutes.

"Oh my god," I say clutching my stomach, "If that went on any longer I might have gotten abs,"

"You with abs? Impossible," She giggles.

"Hey, I had abs once!" I grin, "I danced since I was like five, I quit sophomore year, but I did have abs,"

"Wait you dance?" She asks, "Why'd you stop?"

I laugh "that was a lie, Dad thought that dancing would turn me gay, and I mean it wouldn't but guess who turned out gay anyway!" I give a melancholy chuckle. 

"Oh,"

"It's fine, it could get worse, and it did! The guy that I have a huge crush on has played with my heart!" I grip onto the ice cream carton, my knuckles turning white. Peggy stays silent. "But it's fine you know, except I might not be able to forgive him and we would never be able to be together," I drop my head and my false smile. 

Peggy wraps an arm around me as I start to cry.