Elements

Chapter 31

Johns POV

Well, Alex can't come to the squad meeting. I guess I'll just have to explain everything myself. 

The squad is piled over the couch. Laf is practically in Herc's lap, his legs draped over the schylurs. Maria's sitting on the ground in between Peggy's legs. I'm sitting on the coffee table across from everyone. 

"Okay, so Jeffershit has decided to become more of a problem," I say. "On the fourteenth of September, Jeffershit kissed Alex after their political science class. Alex does not reciprocate his feelings, of course, and Jeffershit isn't very happy. Then yesterday on the second of October, Jeffershit got me in an art room alone. He said I wasn't that good looking, and kissed me. His excuse was that he didn't understand why Alex would chose me over him. Then earlier today someone, probably Jeffershit, anonymously sent him a picture of a security camera feed of us from the art room in an attempt to break us up. Alex then proceeded to punch Jeffershit across the face,"

"Wow, that is quite the story," Laf says.

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Herc asks.

"Brainstorm some ideas on how to get him to realize how much of a shit he's being," I say.

"I could talk to him," Angi says. "The last and only time he tried to talk to me I roasted his purple ass. I think he's also a little bit scared of me,"

"I could put paper dots on his fan," Maria suggests.

"Oh my god Maria I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, please do not," Peggy says in exasperation. Maria laughs.

"I could sneak into his dorm and mess up his clothes," Herc says.

"We could prank him relentlessly and bombard him with morals," Peggy says. Everyone else expresses their agreement.

"Prank war? Really?" I ask.

"Of course! Confuse don't abuse! It won't be cruel, and we can still get our point across. Plus if he reports us it won't really be anything that we could get in trouble for," Laf explains.

"That could a work, but how would we get our point across?" I ask.

"We could hid notes at the source of the confusion explaining why we're relentlessly pranking him," Angi says.

"Oh that's actually kind of perfect," I say in amazement. "Lets start making some solid prank ideas,"

Laf pulls out a notebook and pen, clicking it a few times to emphasize the fact that he has a pen.

"The paper dots should definitely go one there," Eliza says, 

"Wait, could we also put glitter in there? Glitter is impossible to get rid of," I suggest.

"Oh my god John you're a genius," Maria grins. Laf jots it down.

"Wait wait wait, we could put food coloring in the back of his toilet," Peggy laughs.

"What would that do?" Herc asks.

"When he flushes the water will come out a different color. The first time I did this my mom thought that the sewage was coming up through our pipes," She explains.

"Oh my gosh," he laughs.

After half an hour we have a list of thirty things to do to Jeffershit and where the note would be.

"Okay, now we just need to figure out when to do them," I say. "Preferably it would be every day, and this would go on for a whole month. But college still exists, and we don't have all the time in the world."

"Everyone pull out their schedules," Laf says. "We can go in pairs every day when someone's free. Jeffershit's in the same major as Alex, so we know what classes we just don't know when he has them, except for political science. He has the that with Alex,"

We all pull out our schedules and start comparing, making teams, and solidifying plans. We were  able to figure out Alex's schedule, and I got paired with him for Wednesday pranks.  Herc and Angi have work most days so they decided not to participate. Our master schedule is Peggy and I on Mondays, Laf and Alex on Tuesdays, Alex and I on Wednesdays, Maria and Eliza on Thursdays,  Peggy and Maria on Fridays, Laf and Eliza on Saturdays, and finally Eliza and I on Sundays. We started fitting in pranks based on the level of impact and who wanted to do them. We were about halfway through when Alex arrives.

"Alex!" I exclaim. "Hi!" His face lights up when he sees me.

"John!" He drops a bag by the door before sitting beside me and throwing an arm around my shoulders, gently pulling me towards him. A collective 'aw' runs through the room.

"Oh hush," I say as my face flushes.

"What've you guys planned?" Alex asks, looking at our notes.

"Prank war," Maria grins.

"That's fucking genius," Alex says. "How many are we doing?"

"Thirty-" Laf starts but has to check the official list. "Thirty two. One every day for about a month,"

"Oh my god this is perfect, we're going to drive him insane," He grins.

"What's in the bag?" Herc asks.

"Oh right," Alex gets up leaving my side cold. He grabs the bag and tosses three large bags of sour patch watermelons. Peggy stares at them, her jaw dropped.

"Alex," She says. "I think I might love you,"

"Hey!" Me and Maria say at the same time. Alex laughs at our outrage.

"I'm kidding you doofuses," She stickers her tongue out and rips one of the bags open. She chucks a watermelon at me and it bounces off my head. I flip her off.

"You're adorable," Alex says to me under his breath. I flush and open my mouth to protest but he puts a chewy melon in before I can say anything. I'm tempted to spit it back at him but that would be gross, and a waste of perfectly good candy. 

Soon all three bags of candy are open, and we're all chatting, joking, and throwing candy at each other. 

We stay until 11, because unfortunately we have classes tomorrow. Alex walks me to my dorm and kisses me goodnight.

I fall asleep giddy and excited for the coming month and the exorbitant number of pranks we've planned.