Elements

Chapter 25

Johns POV

The hangout out is just in Laf's dorm. Apparently his roommate Michael, or Micbael, is out at some party. I can hear Laf, Herc, and Alex talking on the other side of the door. My hand is raised ready to knock but I don't. 

Alex is in the room, and until the sisters and Maria get here it would just be us four. I don't know if I could deal with being in such close proximity to him yet. I said I would come, they would be disappointed if I don't show up, and then they would ask why. I have to go in, it'll be ok once the sisters get here. I take a deep breath and raise my hand,

"Hey John!!" I turn around and Peggy is pulling Maria towards me with Eliza and Angi following closely behind them.

"Hey Peggy," I smiles at her, and then I notice that Peggy doesn't let go of Maria's hand. She sees me staring and blushes.

"John, this is my girlfriend, Maria"

"Hi Maria, nice to see you again" I wave at her.

She grins and waves back "Hi John,"

"Okay," Peggy says, excited, "lets go in"

The Alex Anxietytm returns "Ah yeah, right," but before I can say anything else Peggy pushes past me, throws open the door and a chorus of greeting from Laf, Herc, and Alex comes from the room. I hold the door open for Eliza and Angi and then I hear Alex, 

"Oh John you're here!" Great, now I can't avoid him. 

"Hey Alex..." I step into the room and close the door behind me. 

Eliza and Angi were dumping out a bag of snacks and sodas in the middle of the floor. Peggy and Maria have already made themselves comfortable and were sharing a bag of Doritos, Laf and Herc had included them in conversation. I catch Laf glimpse over at me and Alex.

"I was kinda thinking you weren't going to show, did you just walk here with the sisters?"

"Uh, no, not really, they just got here at the same time," I'm trying not to start another conflict, I do want to hang with the squad, just not him. But I also ache to just be with him, if only he didn't play with my heart.

"Oh, well I'm glad your here, but uh, can we talk for a minute? Just the two of us?" He asks, looking slightly anxious.

"Can we not right now? I just want to hang out with my friends," I implied. 

"Oh, ok," he looks crestfallen as I try not to look back at him while I walk over to join  the rest of the crew. 

Peggy chucks a pack of skittles at me while yelling "taste the rainbow!"

"Ow!" I laugh, "Peggy!" I open the pack and flick a skittle at her. I miss horrendously and it hits Maria in the cheek. 

"You hit my girlfriend!" Peggy gasps and throws the same skittle back at me. I catch it, earning a small applause from Laf. 

"You said taste the rainbow, then I shall taste the rainbow," I pop the skittle into my mouth. Everyone laughs and then I get pelted with more skittles.

We then proceed to start throwing snacks at each other, other then Alex, he would kill anyone who tries to pick him up. So that snacc stays firmly on the ground.

Eventually, we hear someone at the door. It opens with what seems to be great difficulty and someone opens the door supporting Micheal. He is clearly very drunk, and seems to be crying.

"Is he ok?" Laf asks concerned.

"Yeah, we saw a dog on the way over and I wouldn't let him pet it," we all laugh and Laf shooed us away from Micheals bed so they can get him on it. He falls asleep within seconds.

"Emir, how much did he drink this time?" Laf asks. 

"I'm not exactly sure, he ran off after his fifth beer and then I found him an hour later in a broom closest lip locked with some girl," 

"Merde, well thanks for getting him back safe,"

"Yeah, of course, oh wait! Before I forget," he looks around for a second, "does anyone have a scrap of paper?" 

"Yeah, just give me a sec," Alex pulls out a small notebook and rips out a paper.

"Thanks," Emir responds as he scrawls a message on it and leaves it on Michaels side table. "Can you make sure he finds that?" He asks Laf.

"Of course," Laf nods. 

"Ok, well thanks again, I'll see you the next time he gets drunk," 

I'm sitting next to Michaels bed side table and he starts muttering in his sleep. Emir looks at him and smiles. I can see a very familiar longing in his eyes. It makes me think of Alex and something in my chest aches. 

After Emir leaves we continue talking and I try not to stare at Alex. I was doing better before, reminding myself of what he did helped, but now all I can think of is his eyes. I take a quick glimpse at Alex and I find that he's staring at me. 

We make eye contact and my stomach swirls. I look away quickly. John you stupid gay, he played with your heart. Who knows what he can justify, cheating? Maybe, I don't know, but he might break my heart, again. I'm just trying to protect myself. 

I grab one of the remaining bags of Doritos and try to enjoy my friends presence instead of pinning after Alex. 

The rest of the night passes without much Alex Anxietytm, and it starts getting late. By 11:30 Laf gets really tired and kicks us all out. Herc's dorm is only a few doors down, but the rest of us are in different buildings. 

We leave the dorm building and my Alex Anxietytm is back. We're walking next to each other, not speaking. Peggy and Maria are being gay so me and Alex are third wheeling. 

"So, are you still mad at me?" Alex asks me out of the blue.

"Yup," I respond.

"Okay," He looks at the ground and kicks at a pebble. He doesn't say anything. We pass Peggy's dorm and we say goodbye to them. That's when Alex speaks up again"I understand why you're mad, but can you please try to forgive me? I know I messed, and I'm so so  sorry. I didn't think you would ever like me, so I tried to get my mind off you by dating Eliza. But I don't like her like that, she and her sister are more like, well, sisters to me. I don't like her the way I like you,"

I sigh, "okay, I believe you, I just can't forgive you yet. Even if it wasn't your intention, I don't like being taken advantage of," 

"That's ok, you have every right not to forgive me, but I'm glad you believe me," I nod but I don't say anything. "I hope we can go back to being friends soon,"

I nearly melt. Why is he so perfect, and understanding, and respectful? He is most definitely made of boyfriends material. Oh my god what am I doing? I'm falling for him again. Why am I like this? Ok you know what screw it.

"I'm sorry?" Alex asks. 

"Oh shit I said that out loud? Did I say all of it out loud?" I'm really starting to panic now. It's late,  I'm tired, and I might be losing my sense of judgement.

"Say all of what? You're internal monologue?" Alex responds, the beginnings of a smile pulling up the corners of his mouth.

"Yes, you know what I said, screw. It," I don't wait for his answer, but I put a hand on his shoulder and push him into the wall. 

"J-John?" His face turns bright red as he puts his hands on my hips. His eyes quickly scan my face before resting on my lips. 

"I've wanted to do this for too long" I smirk.

I cup his face in my hands and press my lips to his.