You're All I Need《Nikki Sixx || Mötley Crüe || The Dirt》

{Chapter Seventy-Nine}

⚠️Warning: chapter contains scenes depicting depression and suicide attempts. If affected, please proceed with caution.⚠️

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*Nikki*

To say I was livid was an understatement...

Its been days, and news of Vince's departure spread like wildfire and it hasn't been easy.

Mal has hit an even worse depression than before.

Honestly, I can't blame her. Vince was like a brother to her. They've been so close ever since they met. He looked out for her and she did the same for him. She's even the godmother of his first child, and after this.... God, I can't even begin to imagine what's going through her head.

If anyone is suffering worse from this, it has to be her.

At her request, she asked we keep what really happened that day between ourselves. We agreed, but weren't too happy about it nonetheless.

I walked into the bedroom and see she was in bed still, curled up under the covers with Jack nearby comforting her.

He's grown pretty quick already, but still thinks he's puppy size.

"Mal...." I murmured, walking over to her.

She looked up, her eyes bloodshot from crying. Her bruise was going away, thankfully, and despite make up covering it, she has avoided any press to raise any suspensions. Luckily at work, she just made up some credible story of tripping on a raised tree root and falling face first while walking Jack in the park, in case anyone asked why her lip was busted.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" I murmured.

She sniffled and nodded.

I walked over and crawled under the covers, pulling her into my arms as she curled up close to me, pressing her head against my chest to ease herself.

I stroked her hair as Jack curled up next to me on my other side.

"I don't hate him...." she suddenly said.

I looked down at her.

"I know what he did was wrong, and I am as upset and angry as you are..... But... I don't hate him.... I'm trying to, but I can't..... I don't think I can do it....." she asked, then looked up at me. "Is that bad?"

I frowned slightly, then sighed. "Truth?" I asked. ".... No... I don't think so..... You two have history, have been through a lot together.... Between you and me, it would honestly in a way surprise me if you actually did...."

She sighed and laid her head back down.

"What's gonna happen now?" she asked quietly.

I sighed. "... I wish I really had an answer to that question, Mal... Even if I forgave him, which I don't know if I can, I don't know if he would want to come back...."

She shifted a little bit as I continued.

"I suggested we hold off for a bit, cool our heads, and then.... Then I guess we find a new singer," I said.

She looked up, a sad look in her face. Her bruise was kind of purple still, but her lip looked better.

"It won't be the same..." she said sadly in a hushed voice.

".... I know..." I answered quietly. "But there's not much we can do...."

She quietly took a deep breath.

"I know you're mad at him, and you have every right to be.... Please... Please don't have hate towards him...."

I frowned as she looked up at me, gripping my hand.