You're All I Need《Nikki Sixx || Mötley Crüe || The Dirt》

{Chapter Eighty-Three}

⚠ Warning: Chapter contains mentions of depression, abortion, loss, heartbreak, and [very slight] marital dispute. If affected, please read with caution.⚠️

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*Mallory*

Some days passed since we found out.

I sat down at the dining table, looking down at the test results, the words I was both dreading and over the moon for.

POSITIVE

I'm pregnant again... This is real..... Its really happening....

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel about this?

This is my third time, am I supposed to be happy? Scared?

What if I'm feeling both?

What if it happens like it did the last time?

Can I really survive a third loss?

Should I just go for my other options and avoid anymore pain and loss?

I sighed and folded up the papers and pushed them away, burying my face into my hands as I tried to calm down.

Nikki then walked out from the kitchen, a calm look on his face as he set down a mug of hot chocolate in front of me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, sitting down next to me.

"I.... I don't know...." I sighed. "Scared.... Conflicted.... Babe, I don't know what to think...."

He sighed and nodded, his hand over mine.

"Well, whatever you decide to do, I'm gonna support you," He said.

I pursed my lips, and then placed my other hand over his, deciding to ask.

"What do you think I should do?" I asked.

He seemed a bit surprised by my question. "Mal... This is your body we're talking about, when it comes to that it has to be your choice, not mine. I don't determine that kind of stuff."

"I know, but.... I still want your opinion. You still helped make this baby, after all," I said. "So just..... Be honest.... What do you think I could do?"

He pursed his lips, figuring out the words.

"Mal, you fell apart when we lost Angel.... We both did.... We really thought she was gonna make it, and......" he sighed, trying to keep it together.

I looked down as a single tear fell.

"I do want kids, Mal, but... But not if it means exposing us, exposing you, to all of this fear...... To suffering..... Its not fair to you," he said. "It.... Its not worth it...."

I sniffle quietly. "So.... Should I get an abortion? And.... and maybe a hysterectomy?" I asked.

He sighed and looked down. "I... I don't know... Maybe its the best option, I mean.... We can always adopt kids, baby, it seems safer..." he said.

I sighed. "I guess.... I-I need to think about it...."

He nodded and leaned over, kissing my cheek.

"Like I said, its not my choice, its yours.... I'll support you on whatever you decide," he said.

I smiled softly and leaned in, pulling him into a hug.

"What did I ever do to deserve someone like you in my life?" I asked.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me back.