Let Me Hear You Say (GyuBoo)

13

"Why don't consider Jihoon hyung's suggestion?" asks Mingyu while licking his popsicles. "I mean, you have the voice."

"I know. Jihoon hyung always tells me that I'm a good singer but actually I don't have the courage to perform in front of a crowd. I want to, but I can't.."

The bright moon shines and the cold breeze from the river hits their bare skin. They are currently walking on the Han River park where Mingyu insisted to go to before going home.

"I didn't know that you like late night stroll dates, huh?"

"So you're really into the idea of us dating?" Mingyu beams on Seungkwan and wiggles his eyebrows.

"Psh. No way." he rolls his eyes. "It's just that, it doesn't look like you. You look like a guy who like dates in club or dates in some fancy restaurants."

Mingyu burst out laughing. "Really? I'm not into those, actually. I like dating at the parks, shoppings and movie nights."

"Oh my God. I love you already!" Seungkwan exclaimed.

"Did you just confessed your love to me?" Mingyu blinks his eyes and gave Seungkwan a naughty smile.

"I didn't mean it like that- oh hell. Now, I hate you."

Mingyu pouts and goes back to his popsicle and walks with his hands inside his pockets.

"Hey Mingyu." Seungkwan keeps on walking while his eyes were busy watching his feet steps in turn. "I know you're curious about what happened between me and Hansol.."

Mingyu pauses for a moment but then sighs. "Actually, Jeonghan and Jihoon hyung already told me that but they didn't quite elaborate what happened. All I know is you two had some sort of a bad history that turn to your heartbreak."

Seungkwan nods and catched up on Mingyu. They both walk with eyes straight in front, not taking a glance at each other. "Are you willing to listen, though?" he laughs a bit.

"Yes, if you're comfortable with sharing it with me. I'm more than willing to listen."

Seungkwan inhales and then lets out a deep sigh. Mingyu keeps on walking and waited for him to speak up. He somewhat feel honored that Seungkwan is sharing this things to him. Does he already trust me?

"We're actually bestfriends. Since grade school." Seungkwan starts with a soft laugh. "He approaches me that time when my other classmates keeps on bullying me and calling me piggy. He stood up against them and yells at them. I remember he looks pissed that he was about to punch one of them which he did and all the three of them ran away. That's the time I treated him as my hero. We hang out everytime and visit each other during weekends. My mom already treats him as his son and so does his mom towards me." he looks up to the sky. "We remained like that until high school. He always protects me against bullies and helps me out with academics. He's that reliable friend that I ever needed.. and I loved him through that whole time. I love him, not just a friend but more than that. Let's say romantically."

Mingyu felt a pang in his chest and he doesn't know the reasons why. Seungkwan's story is a bit heavy for him to handle. What confuses him the most is why is he a bit upset by the idea that Seungkwan loves Vernon?

"I told that to Jihoon and Jeonghan hyung who encourages me to confess.  They said that there's a huge chance that Vernon likes me too." His smiles turns into a bitter one. "But I don't actually believed them. Vernon changes through years. During our freshman years he always initiate the holding hands and those touches but then stops after we turn into juniors. He would always get stiff whenever I touches him and will always find a way to let go of my hand everytime I hold his." he pauses for a moment then sigh. "I felt it. That he already hates me being touchy. He already hates the clingy Seungkwan. But well yeah, I'm really dumb. I still decided to confess. I did it after the graduation c-ceremony.."

Mingyu heard how Seungkwan's voice get softer so he looks at the guy and saw him sniffing.

"I.. I confessed. I told him that I love him for a long time but.. b-but he pushes me when I hold his hands and gave me those d-disgusting looks. You know what he said..?" tears came rushing down to his cheeks. He stops walking as his sniffs turn into sobs. "He said, 'Let go! I'm not a gay like you!'"

Seungkwan wipes his tears and fakes a laugh but then another set of tears fell from both of his eyes. "That's the only thing he said but it shatters every bit of me. I.. I never thought of hearing that from him. I somehow expected that h-he'll turn me down but never thought of those insulting words to punch me right in the face. I w-will never forget his d-disgusted face right after he told me I'm gay.."

Seungkwan is a mess right now. It's hard to distinguish if he's laughing or crying.

Mingyu grits his teeth. It frustrates him to see Seungkwan in such situation.

"I hate that day. I.. h-hate that I fucking d-did that. I hate that I f-fucking confessed to him. I hate m-myself for being stupid and I hate him!" Seungkwan breaks down.

Mingyu grabs Seungkwan's hands and pulls him. He imprisoned him in a tight hug. "It's okay.."

"I hate him.." Seungkwan mumbles as he burries his face into Mingyu's chest.

Mingyu's hug tightens as his other hand landed on Seungkwan's head, gently caressing it. The action calms Seungkwan a bit that he slowly reach out to hug Mingyu on the waist. Their body against each other is making him feel comfortable and at ease. It feels like Mingyu is a safe haven.

"It's okay, Boo." Mingyu whispers to Seungkwan. "Everything will be alright soon. I'll help you to get through it. Me, Jihoon and Jeonghan hyung. We're here. Let go from the past. Once you moved on, hatred will disappear too." Mingyu pulls away from the hug and saw Seungkwan's puffy eyes. He flashes a smile and pointed a finger on Seungkwan's chest. "Don't let your heart be broken for someone who'll not love you back. Just keep on waiting for the right person who will come and I know you'll meet him soon."

Mingyu's smiles widens and Seungkwan felt a skip from his heartbeat. Everything around him keeps on moving but his eyes were all focused on Mingyu. His glimmering eyes and his pure smile that always calms him. He cannot explain his feelings but all he knows is.. that is the thing he needed the most at the moment.

Mingyu runs his fingers on Seungkwan's hair and removes the messy bangs away from his forehead. He looks fragile and will break at any moment and Mingyu wants to take care of him all of a sudden.

I hate seeing you like this so.. can you stay with me? I'll promise not to break your heart. Mingyu thought and he wanted to say those words to the guy in front of him but he, himself, is confused about everything.

Everything happens fast but.. am I already falling?