kimetsu no yaiba | | random texts

42

an extremely normal day in the kny universe:

oyakata-sama: these three children, *gestures at tanjiro, inosuke, zenitsu* have been naughty lately. please give them the appropriate punishment in order to discipline them. i am counting on you, the pillars.

uzui: pick your poison, you gremlins.

zenitsu: what will the punishments be? *hyperventilating* don't tell me one of you is secretly vlad the impaler's reincarnation—

sanemi: scuse me who the fuCk?

zenitsu: OH MY GOD IT'S HIM— I KNEW IT— I KNEW YOU WERE SOME NASTY EVIL VILLAIN OUT TO GET US

sanemi: I AM— *thinks, gives up on arguing as zenitsu continues to wail in the background, slaps a palm to his face and sighs*

rengoku, whispering to sanemi with his lips not moving: you gotta read vlad the impaler's bio later. it's interesti—

sanemi: *slaps rengoku*

obanai, from the distance: pretty fuckin gay if you ask me

kanroji: times like these i wish i had a modern-day videocam...

tokitou: ngl same

giyuu: *looks at tokitou*

tokitou: ok boomer.

giyuu: ... i didn't even say any—

shinobu: please close your mouth, the atmosphere doesn't need any more pollutants.

giyuu:

shinobu: don't breathe through your nose either, please, your bacteria is all over the place.

sanemi, out of context: *sighs*

shinobu: oh?

sanemi: *sighs* the fuck do you want

shinobu: i should be asking you that, shinazugawa-san.

sanemi: *extra aggressive sigh* could you n—

shinobu: stop that sighing. if you want to do it at maximum potential, along with the moaning, go get a room with tomioka-san.

rengoku:

giyuu:

uzui:

uzui: i... i can get you guys one?

inosuke: HEY WE'RE GETTING A LITTLE OFF TOPIC HERE

shinobu: ara ara™, that's right, we should get back to the point of this chapter.

obanai: oh man, finally

obanai: psh, lazy author just trying to make shorter chapters, actually. it insults me that they're manipulating me, turning me into a character which agrees with them on this matter.

mitsuri: sssshhhhh the fourth wall—

uzui: *clears throat* anyways, y'all, the three of you

tanjiro, zenitsu, inosuke: yes

uzui: according to oyakata-sama, you should be punished accordingly, for some unkown "naughty" acts you have done.

shinobu, whispering to rengoku: sounds pretty kinky to me, but alright...

giyuu: my punishment is... *peeks at copy hiding in his sleeve* to swing your sword 400,000 times by dusk.