kimetsu no yaiba | | random texts

61

i forgot about this for quite a while, so let me continue. sorry lol

idk if i should actually put this but trigger warning, "wanting to kill himself" was mentioned at some point. it's kinda meant in a "comical" way, but... yeah. sometimes there's just those people in the internet (don't mean that in a bad way either lol)

jibaku shonen tanjiro-kun

mukashi mukashi, arutokoro ni, there lived a ghost named tanjiro-kun in one of the toilet stalls of the old school building. a lonely, edgy sadboi named giyuu found him there because it's plot relevant, and so, tanjiro-kun promises to grant giyuu's wish in exchange for...

"Ah, I see," the strange, red-eyed ghost boy nodded, an expression of extreme concentration on his face. It was as if he had managed to foresee all of Giyuu's very likely exemplary fails in the regard of 'making friends', and was trying his best not to inform him of the fact that the success rate of this mission was close to nil. He smiled after a while, and Giyuu felt part of his defenses melt a little, for the ghost boy's smile was like that of the sunshine, the warmth of a non-living being ironically reaching out to his crippling depression. It felt as if the ghost boy was more suited to the status of being alive than the blue-eyed, friendless fuck was.

"Alright, since you've summoned me, I'll help you! I'm one of the Seven Mysteries of this school, after all, and it would do my reputation no good if I left you here to rot with the-- director... these lines are a little harsh... but anyways-- plants who..." the ghost boy cast his gaze down, seeming to be having trouble with delivering his next lines. He shook his head after a while and smiled ever-brighter at Giyuu, who had to squint his eyes a little to protect himself from this unearthly radiance.

"Anyways, let's get to it! Let me just dig through my toilet for that book..." Tanjiro-kun retreated back inside the toilet stall and pulled up a bunch of items from whichever dimension ghosts used to store their things. He produced a huge book from somewhere, which he handed to Giyuu. The latter staggered under the weight of the book, which was surprisingly heavy even for him. He wondered what kind of secrets were written in there, and suddenly the book was significantly lighter. He noticed the ghost boy helping him carry it from the other side, and as they brought it down on a dirty, dry sink, it let out a thud.

"I don't think you were supposed to carry it with me. I think you were supposed to flip through the pages while I would be holding it."

"I'm sorry, I figured it would be kinda heavy so..."

"Well..."

"We can still open the book like this, right?" The ghost boy laughed softly, and world hunger ended. Tanjiro-kun walked a little closer to Giyuu's side. "And it's a little more convenient. See? We can read it together." He said as he opened the large book called, 'How To Make Friends For Dummies' and began to thumb through its pages.

"Alright, it says here... 'Number 1: Give them food."

"I'm doing that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I give Sanemi ohagi everyday." Giyuu confidently informed Tanjiro-kun, a slightly proud expression on his face, seeing as something he came up with by himself was the first to be written on a self-help book from a mysterious ghost in one of the toilet stalls of the old school building. Tanjiro-kun was not going to lie; he was surprised.