xiaojun slowly opened his eyes, awakening from his beauty sleep. he got off from bed and walked to the living room. the members weren't there. if they're not here that means he could do it now.
xiaojun's body started to shake as he thought about it. he went to his bedroom and looked at his drawer.
don't think about it. just do it.
xiaojun opened the drawer and there it was. several blades, neatly organized. no one ever knew about this except for the members of course and they told xiaojun to stop many times. xiaojun did. they knew how much xiaojun had been suffering and they took the best care of him, big or in little space. but xiaojun couldn't handle it anymore.
he locked the door closed and grabbed the blade he had never used, he said to himself to use it if he's going to....
die.
xiaojun could feel himself slip into little space and tried to hold himself together.
he opened the blade and looked at his wrist. his scars that he made to himself. xiaojun placed the blade on his skin and crossed the blade over. he winced at the pain but didn't stop. when he made seven scars, bleeding like hell, he shakily grabbed the pill bottle. the sleeping pills.
he opened the lid and poured the pills into his hand. after six pills were placed in his hands, he placed them on the table, trembling. he took the blade and made more scars, he could feel himself slipping fully but his hand couldn't stop. he cried out loud as he made those, blood dripping from his arms, he sobbed silently.
"b-baba..." xiaojun then made scars on his thighs, he thought they were too large for him and was ugly. tears streamed down his face as more blood dripped down his thighs.
he knew this was a bad idea but this was the best for him and the rest of nct.
the scars, seven on his left arms and ten in his right arms. then in his thighs, six on his left and five on his right. he was shaking harshly, he started to feel dizzy.
maybe, it wa-
"YAH! XIAO DEJUN!" kun shouted and slammed the door open before running up to the male, now lying down on the floor with blood almost all around him. kun could feel his tears streamed down his face. the older sat down and placed xiaojun's head on his lap while the others called the ambulance.
"junnie, d-darling..." xiaojun looked at kun with a weak smile. a smile that sorely broke kun's heart into a thousand pieces, no one could every fix. kun was crying, not wanting his dearest to die.
"gege..." xiaojun's shaking hand reached for kun's cheek and caressed it, trembling, blood stained a little bit of kun's pale cheek. kun sobbed and placed his hand on xiaojun's, squeezing it.
behind kun was hendery and yangyang. yangyang was crying as his head on on hendery's shoulder but hendery was crying too.
the rest in the living room was also crying, they were shocked. how could xiaojun do this to them now. why.
"guys, the ambulance is here!"
a few weeks later
"kun-ge.." kun sat up and smiled at ten who had a worried look. the older has been with xiaojun ever since the male has been hospitalized. ten was getting worried.
"take a rest, kunkun. please.." kun looked at xiaojun and nodded. he went outside and then drove home to take a rest. meanwhile ten was there, sitting next to xiaojun with the fragile male's hand inside his.
"i'll swim and sail on savage seas
with never a fear of drowning
and gladly ride the waves of life
if you would marry me
no scorching sun nor freezing cold will stop me
if you will promise me your heart." ten sang, tears started to fall but he couldn't careless. he used to sing this song with xiaojun all the time. he wish he could sing it with him right now. this moment.
"and love me for eternity
my dearest one, my darling dear
your mighty words astound me
but I've no need for mighty deeds
when I feel your arms around me." ten sang it slowly rather than fastly like the actual song.
"but i would bring you rings of gold
i'd even sing you poetry
and I would keep you from all harm
if you would stay beside me." ten had his eyes closed from focusing on the song. he was about to sing the next part when....
"i-i have no use for rings of gold
i care not for your poetry
i only want your hand to hold
i only want you near me." ten's eyes widened as he saw xiaojun with a smile looking at him.
xiaojun would never make the same mistake again. in fact they even was able to perform a song at the school after he felt much better.
he was having a better life. his caregivers but also his boyfriends.
match made in heaven as i can say.
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nct oneshots ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉᵈ
Fanfiction𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : 𝐜 𝐨 𝐦 𝐩 𝐥 𝐞 𝐭 𝐞 i advice you to not read it if i'm being honest cause the writing here was not the vibe 💀 i was very bored so this was just a way to kinda kill time. if you do want to read it then you are free to do so, but i...
