Beyond Time

Chapter 8

NOTE: Any historical inaccuracy is my fault and shall be remedied at final editing. There will be changes in the book, changes I will not put here.

Anyway...
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"KUYA, is everything okay?"

Napatingin si Knox kay Nash at napakunot-noo nang mapansin na mukhang nag-aalala ang lalaki. Kahit sabihing mabilis itong mag-alala ay hindi kailanman sa kanya. Nash trusted him not only as an older brother but as someone who always got his shit together. Nasa Berlin sila. Pinuntahan niya ang kapatid sa opisina nito na mas mukhang museum ng Marvel at DC kaysa opisina. It was the dream office of nerds.

"Why wouldn't I be, brother?" tanong niya, nakakunot pa rin ang noo. "Is there something bothering you?"

"Me?" Kumunot ng noo nito. Nash was a tall man like him, and looked somehow like him, but he dressed, moved, and thought differently. A lot of people would call Nash a nerd. He was the stereotype computer geek. May salamin ito, hindi masyadong marunong makiharap sa mga tao dahil masyadong mahiyain, at kung magdamit ay palaging T-shirt ng Star Wars. Nash also collected toys and action figures. Kung minsan ay naitatanong ni Knox kung kasalanan ba niya na naging masyadong protective sa kapatid noon na hindi niya ito na-encourage na lumabas at magkaroon ng matinong social life. He had friends but they were all like kids who talked about movies, books, and other nerd stuff. "You always do this."

"Do what?" Lalo nang kumunot ang noo ni Knox.

"You always make it seem like I know nothing."

Nagulat siya. "What the hell are you talking about?" Nilapitan niya ang kapatid. "I always make it seem like you know nothing? When did you ever even start thinking that? Alam mong ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit nandito tayo ngayon." Nag-alala siya sa sinabi ng kapatid. Hindi niya alam na mayroon pala itong ganoong isipin. Nash's opinions meant a lot to him. Kung mayroong isang tao sa buong mundo na napakahalaga sa kanya ng opinyon, iyon ay si Nash. He was probably the only one he trusted. And he trusted his brother with his life. Ang buhay niya nakalaan lamang para sa dalawa—sa kompanya at sa kanyang kapatid.

"Maybe so, Kuya, but you always avoid personal questions. You never tell me about you or the things you do. Am I your brother or your kid?"

Hindi agad nagawa ni Knox na makapagsalita. Noon lang niya naunawaan kung ano ang saloobin ni Nash sa tagal ng panahon. Did he really see him as his kid? Well, maybe. Siguro dahil noon pa mang bata sila ay isa na lang sinasabi sa kanya ng ina, at iyon ay ang huwag pabayaan ang nag-iisang kapatid. Silang dalawa na lamang daw sa mundo kaya magmahalan sila. Siya daw ang panganay kaya kailangan niyang alagaan ang bunso niyang kapatid.

When their mother passed away, Knox probably unknowingly took on the role of an older brother and parent. Siguro naibaong maigi sa kanyang isip na iyon na siya sa kapatid at hindi na kailanman naalis. Hindi kailanman dumaan sa isip niyang magkuwento sa kapatid tungkol sa personal na buhay. What was there to tell him anyway? Alangan namang sabihin niya sa kapatid ang mga kaswal na relasyon? O ang walang katapusang mga party na kailangan niyang puntahan dahil kailangan sa kompanya? O ang mga business meeting sa ibang kliyente na nagiging ordinaryo na lang na bahagi ng buhay niya?

Knox's life was not particularly interesting, but people seemed to think it was. Madali sigurong lumutang ang "social media value" noon. He was brushing elbows with the rich and famous, going to exclusive places and parties, had access to properties other people can only dream of seeing. Pero ang buhay na iyon ay maganda lang sa mga larawan dahil madalas na pinaghandaang talaga para sa aesthetic value noon. Of course, there were meaningful conversations in those as well, but they were few and far between. There were probably friendships made, but more importantly, connections were established. Iyon ang pinakamahalaga sa mga ganoong bagay. He would have gladly asked someone else to do it but he knew that would affect the company. Noong una rin ang niyayaya niya ang kapatid sa mga ganoong okasyon o aktibidad, pero hindi nito nagustuhan ang crowd. Nash had always been an introvert. Ito mismo ang nagsabing hindi na kailanman sasama sa mga ganoong okasyon.