I'm dying
Slowly dying inside …
My heart is so filled with emptiness
My life is not the same anymore
Something doesn't feel right …
To wake up and go to school without hearing his "good morning" and having a ride in his car
To finish my homeworks and having no one to stay with durnig my free time
To spend days and days without seeing his smile
I hate to admit it …
But I'm so lonely …
I don't know what makes it feel so different …
I have always been alone …
I never had any friends …
And I never wanted --
Well I did want some … in my childhood …
But it was never a big deal for me …
Having such emotions, I couldn't help but to go to his apartment praying with every step I take that I see him there somehow
I entered and looked around, almost everywhere as I got slapped by the bitter truth that he's not here and I can't lie to myself about that
I laid on his bed as I found tears getting poured from my eyes to the pillow
I really need him to be with me
I need him the most …
Few minutes …
Or most likely hours later, I felt something warm touching my cheek softly
I opened my eyes to see what I have been waiting for
"Naoki!"
Yeah … It was him …
My heart got filled with happiness as I wrapped my arms around his neck bringing him closer for a tight hug
But then the distance between us increased as I saw a girl with a long black hair entering after him
"Who's that?"
"Ah … you mean Karen? … she's my fiancee"
These words stabbed my heart, doubling the pain in my chest …
I was waiting for him for a whole week that felt like ages …
And now that he's back … he brought his fiancee with him …
I couldn't help but to feel sad …
I didn't even want to look at her …
I headed towards the door
"Excuse me … I have homeworks to do"
I told the simplest lie my mind could think about
It was my first time ever to get separated from Naoki without a wide smile on my face
As long as I reached my apartment, I threw myself on the bed, hugged the pillow and started sobbing in kinda loud way
It hurts … really hurts
It's like having something, then looking at it being taken away by someone else …
I cried and cried till my eyes hurt and my head felt as If it was about to explode …
Then I just rested it on the bed and let myself fall in a deep sleep … that I honestly didn't want to wake up from …
On the next day I woke up 37 minutes late from the usual time I wake up at …
I looked at the mirror to see my horrible statue of my inflated eyes
…… I really didn't want to go to school … but I knew that staying home will be even worse … as I'll just keep crying more …
At school, as expected they all started asking: "What's wrong with your eyes?"
I was repeating: "I didn't sleep well last night" …
Or just shutting them up: "it's non of your business"
A little while later Keita entered the class with the same question …
"What's with these scary eyeees ~ ? You look like an owl" he chuckled
I answered with the same as he glared at me, not convinced by what I said …
I headed to the roof during the lunch break as I always do …
As long as I got a chance, my mind started popping up all the things I didn't want to remember …
Of how I spent happy times with him, how we both were smiling together …
And how that is not going to happen anymore …
I felt my eyes getting teary again …
Just then the door got opened and I saw Keita passing through it …
"I knew that wasn't because you didn't sleep well …" he said with a low voice
He got closer and crouched infront of me …
His tone got more gentle "Can you just answer more honestly?"
I took a deep breath as he added: "And don't try to lie to me … I know it when you're lying"
" ………… after disappearing for a whole week … he returned with a fiancee … "
"He? You mean the guy who has been with you recently? … Why? Isn't he your boyfriend?"
I shook my head "He's not … but even though …… she can't … just take him from me … I knew him first …… I bet she doesn't even know what his favourite food is …"
___________________
*Keita's P.O.V*
Her voice was sad and shaky
And her face was pale …
I couldn't stand still seeing her sobbing like that …
I patted her head then got up hurrying out
I looked at the door then knocked forcefully …
It must be here …
As soon as he opened I grabbed his collar almost shouting "Listen you! Don't ---"
"Hey hey calm down … Kei kun ~" he interrupted me
"How do you know my name!? and … Don't call me Kei kun!"
"It's how Shiroi used to call you right? Shiroi has told me everything about you … the old Shiroi I mean"
It was silence for seconds before I got it all on him
I mouthed with a deep angry tone: "You piss me off …… you stole her from me but then you didn't take a good care of her!"
I punched his face "I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU FOR MAKING HER CRY! Do you know how hurt and lonely she is! To see the only one she trust slowly getting busy with his own life"
I turned around and started walking away "If you hurt her any further I'll make you curse the day you were born to this life …"
VOUS LISEZ
Like the snow
Roman d'amourTanaka Shiroi is an orphan who has lost a part of her memory after her father's death and has been acting coldly towards everything ever since She faced a lot of troubles as she lives in her own apartment all by herself because of some family proble...
