Your Creation • Zarry

22. Happily

We woke up in Norway and I pulled myself out of bed, not wanting to get up. I groaned, plopped both feet on the ground, completely naked except for a pair of tiny white boxer briefs that I'm pretty sure weren't even mine, and searched the bus for deodorant. That was the one bloody thing you could never find on the bus because someone always had to be the dickhead and hide it from everybody.

"Someone tell me where it is," I shouted, rummaging through Louis' things because I knew he was probably the one who had it.

"Guess you're gonna have to be the smelly one today, Harry," Louis responded, patting me on the back as he shuffled past.

"Absolutely not."

Zayn then walked up behind me and handed me a deodorant stick.

"Here you go mate."

"Thanks," I replied flatly.

I lifted up my arms and applied it while the rest of the boys gathered their things and got dressed, but Zayn stood next to me for a couple seconds, as if he was waiting for me to say something, but I didn't know what to say.

"You okay?" he asked me.

I turned around and flashed him a smile, handing him back the deodorant.

"Yeah I'm great," I lied.

I wanted to avoid drama at all costs because that was not the type of shit we needed when we had shows and things we had to work together on and if I had a personal slogan, it was going to be "fake it till you make it" and it seemed very applicable in that moment because I had to pretend like I was fine.

Once it got to be later on that night after we checked in to our hotel in Oslo, the boys and our team of people all sat around having dinner in the hotel while I was in the middle of convincing our hairstylist, Lou, to shave all my hair off.

"What? Harry, are you having a mid-life crisis at 19?"

"Maybe," I answered, shoving a forkful of salad into my mouth.

"If you shave your hair off lad you'll have to be kicked out of the band. We'll have to give Ed a perm and he'll be your replacement," Liam piped in to the conversation.

"That's actually not a bad idea Liam, we could use a ginger," said Louis.

Of course I knew that they were both joking around but I still glared at them anyway. The conversation shifted away from jokes about my hair and my Mum being hot that everyone was still somehow talking about to what we were getting up to that night due to a fan who had walked up to our table asking for a photo. After the photo she told us about how she and her friends had graduated from school and were having a party bus that night, and she bravely invited us to come along. I appreciated how laid back this girl was; she wasn't even starstruck, which was cool. While the other boys politely declined, I decided to consider jumping at the opportunity because why not? It sounded like it could be fun and I had taken her contact information just in case.

"You're all no fun," I said to the boys as I was getting ready around eleven pm, changing into a different shirt, making it a point to continue ignoring Zayn like I had been the entire day.

"You do realize that if you go to this party bus it's probably going to make it into every headline tomorrow," said Liam.

Then Niall put on his news anchor voice and laid on a bit of sarcasm into the conversation.

"Nobody move! Breaking news! This just in, Harry Styles was spotted partying on a bus full of Norwegian teenagers. In a shocking turn of events, we have discovered that Mr. Harry Styles is, in fact, a normal, regular lad who does normal, regular, lad things with normal, regular people. Ladies and gentlemen, can you believe it? I, for one, am in utter shock over this unbelievable news."

I grinned. See, Niall gets it, and that's exactly why I loved Niall because he and I were alike in that way. I was a normal guy who never got to go to uni and do fun stuff like party on a bus and I didn't mind being in the spotlight, even if the media loved running ridiculous stories about me. I mean sometimes it was annoying, but on the other hand, it wasn't fair that I couldn't go experience something other people did all the time just because I was considered famous. I should be allowed to live my life just like every other nineteen year old would and that's what I was planning on doing.

So I joined the party bus around midnight, but even in an effort to do something normal and fun, I still had three of our body guards following me behind the bus the entire time, just in case. The very first thing the fans did when I got there was dump all their drinks on me, which was actually kind of hilarious and apparently it was a graduation tradition in Norway.

I got pretty liquored up throughout the course of the night, danced, tried learning Norwegian, sweated a lot, but ended up having a blast. I liked how everyone kept commenting on how nice I was, which further proved my point that I didn't like the word famous because it somehow implied that I wouldn't be nice, or that I couldn't hang out with non famous people. It took away from people getting to know who I was as a person and it was cool that the fans could see me in that light.

However, I did end up making out with this girl I had been chatting up after a game of truth or dare, but it was totally innocent because her friend slyly dared me to do it and if nobody thought I'd take on a good dare then they were sadly mistaken. I also knew that it was probably going to be twisted into something else in the newest tabloid the next day, but I didn't really care. I wasn't in a relationship and I had no emotional ties to anyone. I ended the night by singing "What Makes You Beautiful" to everyone on the bus and left very, very drunk.

When I got back to our hotel the hallway was eerily quiet and it seemed that everyone was shockingly asleep, which was odd for Louis, but I kept on walking toward my room. Once I walked past Zayn's door and due to force of habit, I knocked on it without even thinking, but he didn't answer.

I stumbled into my room and fell onto the floor before even making it to my bed and decided to stay there. I removed my phone from my back pocket, opened my messages and started texting.

I hate that I still want you. Can we start over? Forget what I said. I'm just stupid Zayn.. promise that nothing will change between us.

I sat up and grabbed my journal off the bed behind me and I flipped to the page where I had written some lyric ideas from my plane ride to LA at the end of April. Even in my inebriated state I was feeling pretty inspired and I think it's because I could feel my emotions coming back now that I was alone again.

You don't understand, you don't understand what you do to me when you hold his hand. We were meant to be but a twist of fate made it so we had to walk away.

Cause we're on fire, we are on fire. We're on fire now. Yeah we're on fire, we are on fire, we're on fire now.

I don't care what people say when we're together. You know I want to be the one who holds you when you sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever. I know you wanna leave so come on baby be with me so happily.

It's 4am and I know that you're with him. I wonder if he knows that I've touched your skin and if he feels my traces in your hair. I'm sorry, love, but I don't really care.

Cause we're on fire, we're all on fire. We're on fire now. Yeah we're on fire, we are on fire, we're on fire now.

I don't care what people say when we're together. You know I want to be the one who holds you when you sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever. I know you wanna leave so come on baby be with me so happily. So happily.

And the next thing I knew I had passed out on the floor of my hotel room.