Your Creation • Zarry

41. Fake it till you make it

"Harry my boy!" Simon Cowell's voice rang out from across the room as he waltzed up to me at the after party of our documentary premiere smelling like cigars and dirty money.

He patted my back and grinned, nearly blinding me with his veneers.

"I'm quite proud of you, you've done very well."

I returned a rather forced smile and nodded.

"Thank you, Simon."

"You know...I can't seem to find Zayn in this crowd, although there's no surprise there, but if you see him, do tell him congratulations on his engagement, will you? He and Perrie make a lovely couple, don't you think?"

And with a small wink, Simon trotted away. I knew exactly what he was getting at and no, I wasn't going to tell Zayn a damn thing. I was barely getting through promo week as it is and as painful as it was to do, I kept placing him in the friend zone. Of course he just had to go looking unbelievably handsome at the premiere and worst of all, we were interviewed together on the red carpet. The universe was torturing me but believe me, I'm an incredible actor. I put our shit beside us for the time being because the reception from the fans and the event itself was incredible. Sometimes I found that it was so important to stay focused on the bigger picture and not let my romantic life get in the way.

But it always crept back around.

I also had no idea where Zayn was at that moment, but Perrie and the rest of Little Mix were in attendance at the party, as well as his family, so speaking to him was pretty much out of the question...not that I planned on it. I was on my way to go find my mum when it seemed like the universe was really out to get me with the next person who approached me.

"Harry!" Perrie's shrill voice carried as she bounced over, proceeding to draw me in for a hug.

I can be polite.

"Hello. How are you?"

"Amazing, Harry. What a great film. I loved it...wow. Major congrats to you, you smashed it. Oh, did you see my ring!?" she exclaimed, bending her hand out to reveal her sparkling diamond.

"It's beautiful. Congratulations, Perrie."

Fake it till you make it.

"Thank you Harry, that means so much to me. I know that you and Zayn are such good mates and it's so important to me to have your blessing."

Lie.

"Well, I wish you both the best of luck."

"Did you know that he was going to propose before he did? Because I was so shocked, I have to admit. I really wasn't expecting it!"

"Nope, I had no idea. It was a surprise for us all."

Who was going to tell her that I knew about Zayn's plan to propose before anyone else? Not I.

"Listen Harry, I really want you to know that this won't change anything for Zayn. Like, I don't want to come between the band or his mates or anything like that. I still want him to be happy and have fun, not be some doting, controlling housewife... I know that I might have been a bit annoying in the past, clingy, jealous...and Zayn and I aren't perfect but I care so much about him and I care about you and the lads loads, I hope you know that..."

That was probably the most Perrie and I had ever spoken, ever. I didn't even know what to say. She seemed tipsy and emotional, to be honest, but mostly genuine. But I felt like shit. Maybe Perrie really did love Zayn after all and there I was, sneaking around with him behind her back and all she had to say to me were kind things. Suddenly I felt guilty. I felt like a real asshole.