Maybe Someday [Milo Manheim]

In Pieces

If I wasn't broken before.. I was now.

All I could actually remember was everything slowing down. My phone fell out of my hands and hit the floor. I could hear Trevor calling out my name, asking if I was okay but it sounded distant.

You know how in movies where there's like a sudden explosion and all you can hear is the ringing in your ears and distant shouting as your coming out of the fog?

Yeah that's how it felt and then in an instant the panic set in, it was suffocating.

All these years Milo was the one person I could count on, the one person who had never used me. Honestly I don't think anyone's ever really used me in such a way.. maybe Milo didn't even mean it.. but whatever his intentions actually were, my mind was already making up scenarios in my head.

All of a sudden it all felt gross.

He never wanted you
                                  You never meant anything
It was all just a game
                            No one wants you
It was so easy for him to go after Alexis the second you left
                     Your just a slut, he just wanted what everyone else wanted from you
                                                He got tired of waiting
He used you to get her attention
                        Everyone is so ready to leave you
You actually thought someone could love you
                   Everyone gets tired of waiting
           You were so wrong about his character what else did you miss?
                                                Your nothing
He probably told all of his friends he got what he wanted

The thoughts wouldn't stop.. I couldn't breathe. Didn't even realize Trevor was holding me in his arms, we were collapsed on the kitchen floor. The tears wouldn't stop coming, he had no clue what the fuck was going on.

I broke

Whatever part of me that was still holding on .. it broke.

My dad didn't want me
My mom doesn't want me
Milo never did.. he just pretended..

Why did I care about about Milo using me?

You never wanted him to have the crush in the first place.

But if it was all just pretend, then I don't have a family.. I don't have anything..

Him and his mom probably just felt sorry for you, they knew what a train wreck you were..

What happened next was a blur.. Trevor called an ambulance.. he had no clue what was happening or what to do so he called Demi.
Demi told him to get me to a hospital.

Looking back, I feel like they over reacted but.. what else are you suppose to do when your friend stops breathing.

I was given something to take the edge off, relaxing me so I could stabilize. Apparently I went into shock, my brain couldn't handle the information it was receiving, my heart couldn't handle the stress. My body tried to shut itself down, it had gone into survival mode. The only problem was physically I was totally healthy but apparently my mind wasn't.

People got ahold of the story but the only thing people knew was one I was rushed to a hospital and then reported to be in a stable condition... my publicist had to come up with something to give to tabloids before people tried to twist the story.

We went with the flu...
I had the flu and had gotten so dehydrated I passed out and was rushed to the hospital. I swiped article after article.