Cold Kisses

37. Wonderful nightmare

The fire cascaded shadows on the walls, illuminating the darkness around them. Verity hated it. She had always hated it. Whenever a fire was lit, she feared he would step out from them and burn her alive for some sin he was certain she had committed. 

A soft melody travelled through the room. Her mother hummed the lullaby from her childhood nights while she brushed her daughter's hair. The brush made her hair soft and light. Verity flourished in her mother's attention, but sobbed nonetheless.

"Quam pulchra es, filia mea." Soft hands wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Do not cry. Tears do not suit a princess as beautiful and strong as you."

"Will he punish me if he sees them?" Her voice was low and shaky, her cry still invading her body. 

If her father found her disobedient or feeling an emotion, he made sure she would never show it in his presence again. 

The Queen hesitated before answering. "Yes."

"Why?"

"We do not cry, Verity." A hand stroked her hair before a kiss was placed atop of her head. "No matter how much we want to, we cannot let the urge win. We keep the tears inside and display it with a smile instead."

She stood up, turning around to face her. "Why does he hate me, mother?"

The woman in front of her sighed and put down the brush, her hands neatly folded in her lap as she peered up at her daughter. A smile graced the Queen's lips, showing the deadly fangs she had. Oh, how painfully beautiful the queen was! Long, black hair that was forced into a knot and pressed inside a crown. Jewels dripped from her ears, beaming red in the light. A red dress was wrapped around her body, flaring out around her waist. It was a halter neck,  for the King did not want anyone to see his Queen as he could.

Verity had been blessed with her mother's beauty, but cursed with her father's eyes. 

"He does not hate you, filia mea. He loves you."

The Queen's eyes betrayed her. They were filled with sorrow, glossy to the look from unshed tears that desperately wanted to escape. She lied so smoothly to her daughter, but they both knew he did not love the daughter. The King loved no one but himself and the power he possessed. He had a small place for his mate somewhere in his dead heart, but not for the failure he barely called daughter. She knew that; she had known that since she was a little kid. Her childhood was littered with the absence of her father. She had heard him on multiple occasions complain that he only had one heir and that it was a girl. 

"He does not. He wishes every night I had been born a male."

"Verity! Do not say things akin to that aloud again. Do you understand?"

Her mother, for the first time she could remember, seemed frightened. As if her words would bring misfortune over the both of them.

"If he heard you." The Queen shook her head, peering around in case someone was nearby to hear her daughter's statement and rush to the king to tattle her out. 

"If he loves me, as you say, then why does he hurt me?" She strolled over to the window, gazing at her reflection against the dark scenario outside. Her fingers itched to smash into the glass. "If he loves me, why does he force me to get engaged to Lord Whitaker? I do not fancy him, mother. I do not wish to get married."

The queen sighed. "We have talked about this, Verity. Your father finds him a gentleman and a suitable husband to care for you and the kingdom. You are the only heir he has and he does not want you to marry someone unsuitable for the throne. He needs to have the kingdom in mind while planning your future."

"What about my soulmate?"

"Oh, honey." The queen walked over to her daughter and embraced her, holding her close while rocking back and forth in a soothing rhythm. "Royal female heirs have no say in whom they marry. Soulmates are rare for us, Verity. I am sorry. Your maid should never have told you about them. I had wished to spare you this pain."

"I dream of one every night," Verity confessed lowly, burying her head in her mother's shoulder. "I dream of them whisking me away before the wedding and running far away from here. I dream of starting a family with someone I love. I dream of a life where I have the control. I dream of a life where I am someone else but me. Does that make me a monster?"

The Queen sighed. "Verity, darling, of course it doesn't. It's completely reasonable to be feeling how you are now. But you are your father's daughter and you must do what he says. You will learn to love your husband, filia. You have to if you want to survive."

"I don't think I can."

"Some people have to sacrifice more than others, Verity. In our case, it's our hearts." 

She placed her hand on Verity's cheek, tilting it upwards so their eyes could meet; calming blue met ice cold green. The Queen loved the eyes of her daughter, even though Verity loathed them.

"But they can never take your dreams nor your soul. Remember that, my strong Verity. No matter how much we must sacrifice, we shall never surrender our dreams."

Blood dripped down the queen's cheeks.

xxx

A cry escaped my lips. I sat up immediately, gasping and forcing my eyes open. Tears flooded down my cheeks, dripping down on the sheet wrapped around me. I sobbed and buried my head in the pillow, screaming my lungs out. The sounds came out muffled and drowned, but the pain remained evident through my tears. Hurt wrecked my body and I could not stop the tears from staining my cheeks. 

I need you, mama. I need you.

A rustle came from my side before something heavy wrapped over my back. Gentle fingers brushed against my shoulder before trailing down my arm; goosebumps rose at the touch. A shiver ran down my spine and I turned my head to the side to gaze at Hunter.

He was asleep, but reached out for me nonetheless. A frown was etched on his forehead and to my utter surprise, a low whimper past his lips. His fingers gripped my arm and attempted to pull me closer. I manoeuvred my body towards his and watched as the frown eased away once his arms wrapped around my midriff. 

We basked in the moonlight whilst I watched him sleep peacefully.