[11] Truth

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"No, stop" I hear soft whimpers from next to me. My eyes shoot open quickly and I sit up

"Mia." I shake her gently

"Stop, please" she cries in her sleep

"Mia wake up il mio amore it's just a dream" I shake her once more

"Enz" she mumbles in her sleep. A second later she gasps for breath and sits up quickly, tears streaming down her face.

"Shhh it's okay, it was only a dream" I pull her into my lap and wrap my arm around her stroking her hair and back

She sobs in my arms and I press a soft kiss to the top of her head. "It's okay, I've got you."

She snuggles down into my arms, laying on her right side, her lower body now between my legs and her head on my chest. I lay back slowly, allowing her to lay down while I'm sitting half up and half down, and stroke her hair with one hand, and hold her with the other

It doesn't take her long to drift back off to sleep, but I continue stroking her hair, keeping her relaxed. Somehow between that and wondering what's happening in her pretty little mind, I to drift back off with her in my arms.

Mia's shifting body weight wakes me from my sound sleep. She moves her body off mine gently and sits on the edge on the bed running her hands over her face as she wakes up.

I shift slightly and she looks back at me. "Morning" I give her a soft smile

"Good morning" she gives me a small smile back

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"I don't know, how much trouble am I in?"

"I didn't tell anyone about our trip to the hospital last night if that's what you're asking."

"Thanks" she nods "and thanks for staying, and for you know the nightmare thing"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, it was just a bad dream" she shrugs

"If you change your mind" I slid my hand onto hers

She pulls her hand back quickly "thanks"

Here we go again with the mixed messages. One moment she's treating me like I'm the only thing in the entire world she needs and the next she can't wait to see the back of me.

I slide out of bed and pull my shirt back over my head. "I think I'll head off now"

"Sure." She shrugs

"Just so you know I'm not doing this anymore, I'm not playing these games"

"What games? I didn't ask you to come to club and find me did I?" She snaps

"No but you're happy for me to cover for you, to stay with you? To hold you while you cry, to be there for you when you choose." I fire back

"I never asked you to save me!" She yells

"Oh you're beyond saving Mia, you're so far gone you don't even fucking see it." I to am now yelling "I'm not doing this, I'm not going to be around when you want me only to shove it in my face when you don't." I shout back 

"I don't recall asking you to be around Enzo"

"No, not when you're sober maybe not, but every time you're off your face or drunk you're all over me begging me to fuck you and telling me how badly you want me." I shout

"Isn't that what you want?" She shouts "Don't you want me off my face so you can take me home and do whatever you like to me? And in the morning you can tell me that I wanted it, that it's what I signed up for?" Her voice begins to break "Only I'm not sure that I did want it because it doesn't sound like something I would want, but you assure me I did and I have to believe you because I was off my face and I really don't know if I gave my consent or not"

By the end of her rant she has tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Mia." I breath out, my heart in the pit of my stomach. "Did I do something to hurt you?"

"It wasn't you." She sits down on the edge of her bed, her head in her hands "I just" she pauses "it's nothing"

"If it wasn't me, then who? Who hurt you?"

"No one, I don't think, I don't know." She looks up at me once more "Please just forget it."

I sigh and kneel down in front of her. "Whatever happened to you wasn't your fault okay? On drugs or not if someone took advantage of you in any way shape or form that's not on you, that's on them." I feel my blood boil just thinking about it. "And I'm so, so sorry if I've played any part in how you're feeling, I didn't know you where on drugs but I did know you were drinking and I should have said no."

"Don't do that" she shakes her head "I wanted you, that much I'm sure of, that much I know for sure. I know I threw myself at you Enz, I remember and I did it because I wanted to, but in the morning I'm so ashamed of what you might think of me that I don't know how to act. I pull away from you because I'm scared of what will happen if I let you see the real me"

"The real you? Mia I know the real you, are you forgetting how long I've known you il mio amore?" I give her a small smile

"You don't think I'm boring when I'm sober?" She questions sadly

"No I don't, I think you're beautiful and funny and smart." I assure her "I think you're kind and that you have a good heart, I think that you're bright and bubbly and that your smile is contagious and in no way are you boring"

"I'm sorry." She bites down on her bottom lip nervously "I'm sorry for pushing you away when all you've done is look out for me from and cover for me since you've been back. I don't deserve to have you in my life"

"Am I allowed to hug you?"

"Yes" she nods

I pull her into my arms and kiss the top of her head. "I'll always be here Mia, always."

"Do you think we can talk?" She says suddenly "just the two of us, somewhere away from everyone else?"

"Of course we can, name the place and we'll go."


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