Five stages of grief; taegguk

DENIAL -1-

Dear Snowflake,

today, mom took me and Jin-hyung to a farm. It was cold and foggy but my brother was whistling a happy song so we had a great time.

The lady there showed us how to feed ducks so they don't try to steal your shoes. They were cute but I couldn't look at them anymore when Jin told me we eat one for Christmas every year.

I feel like I betrayed them and since those words left my brother's mouth, it seemed as if every single one of them is glaring at me. I am a duck criminal, Jungkook. A fucking duck criminal.

This is not how I imagined my life at all.

It's a pity you weren't there with us, baby. I can tell you would've liked the bunnies I was allowed to pet after lunch. They were cute and fluffy, and I bet you'd say they look like me.

If not, I would say it to you, just to see you smile.

I can't wait for you to wake up so we can visit the farm and the nice lady together, maybe in summer when the weather's nicer and my shoes won't get wet from the morning dew.

Jin said I'm just clumsy since his shoes were dry but I just think he's an outworld creature that can walk above ground with those weird feet of his. Do you remember this? We joked about it before.

On our way home mom asked if we enjoyed the trip, rambling on and on about how she wishes we'd move to a place like that and live in peace from the loud roaring of cars and annoying people. But I like our old house. It's full of memories of you.

I surely hope we stay there forever, so I can see you taking off your shoes at the door or giggling over Biology homework on my tiny bed.

I miss you, baby,

Tae

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this book is being written solemnly when FINNEAS' I lost a friend is playing :((