Five stages of grief; taegguk

DENIAL -5-

Dear Snowflake,

I caught a cold and couldn't go to school today, spending my day laying in bed with a headache and then watching Teenage mutant ninja turtles (spoiler: season 7 is terrible, I ban you from watching it when you wake up), drinking some disgusting green tea my mom bought.

My dad's home but he didn't show himself anywhere near my room. That's okay though, it's not like I expected him to. But, you know, it would've been nice if he checked every once in a while whether I'm still alive.

I guess having two gay kids troubles him. I can respect that - he probably expected to have a lot of grandchildren. Not gonna happen now.

Unless you want to have kids when you return? I'm totally down for that if you really desire it. We can start with a plant at first, upgrading to a small puppy and then a child?

Would you prefer a girl or a boy?

I would like to have a girl and then a boy, so he can braid her hair with his tiny chubby fingers, probably still dirty from spilled banana milk. You can teach him how to boy because I have no idea as to how.

Joking, if you don't want to, I will. Hopefully, he is a quick learner.

I had a dream about you when I was taking an afternoon nap - it was about the first day we spoke. Do you recall?

You thought I was sleeping so you sat beside me and sniffled my hair a couple of times. You were so scared to ask me out I thought we'll never pass the 'pinning friends' stage.

You blushed so hard when I raised my eyebrows at you, I thought you'd pass out, or suffocate on the compliments that wouldn't slip from your stiff tongue before you ran away full speed.

For weeks after that, you'd just pale whenever you saw me in the corridors, hiding behind anything you could find.

Even when you summoned up your courage, your face was silvery white, drained from all color, my little snowflake, and even if I wanted to, I could never say no to that.

Do you sometimes wish I would?

So all of this wouldn't happen?

I don't really care, because even if I did, I'd still fall in love with you unconditionally, searching for a susurrus of redamancy in you.

I love you,

Tae