Five stages of grief; taegguk

DEPRESSION -8-

Little Jungkookie!!!

Jimin, Yoongi, and Hoseok came in the mail today, haha. I had to pick them up at the airport after making Taehyung shower and change clothes, and then we picked up some fried chicken on our way home while blasting WAP.

I haven't felt this free in a long time.

But then we got home; and every intake of breath seemed a bit less happy and just a tad more guilty when I remembered my brother that's lying still on his bed, alive but dead.

It turned out much better than I expected.

When the boys came up to Tae's room they weren't allowed to touch him in any way but Taehyung cried for the first time in over a month, and even I could feel tears prickling my eyes.

He wasn't happy but he looked so damn close to it it made me sob (a little bit (later (into my mother's hug))).  

It was the first day after a few weeks that Taehyung not only got out of his bed, but out of his room too, and though I kind of knew it was only to escape the watchful eyes of the others as he tried to spend some alone time with Jimin, it warmed my heart. 

It really wasn't burdensome to then take Yoongi and Hoseok to the kitchen so they could enjoy some herbal tea (which is my mother's current obsession) in the company of the elders.

Taehyung and Jimin returned later that evening, scratches and mud on their knees, bitten raw from the various insects, pants wet up to their knees and freezing to an extent Yoongi even scolded them. But as I sorted the guests into their room that night, Taehyung leaned into my touch and whispered a little feeble exhausted: "Tell Jungkookie I fell into the lake today."

It was all worth it.

He misses you again, Kookie. He's becoming him again.

your hyung