Thoughts At 12AM

2:43AM

 I remember alot about where I would be 10 years from now. Who I would meet. Who I would love. And where my life would begin, little did I know I had to go through a hell of a lot of pain to get there. I would always spend my days simply doing art but never feeling alive. Feeling as though I was chained, if that makes sense. Feeling as though, I had the whole world wrapped around my hands. I still felt as though I was a little child in an unknown world. A world I had no idea was there for me to posses. I went from being the girl that was afraid to take leaps to the being the girl that took leaps like it was nothing. 

  Am I afraid of what the future holds? Maybe. Am I going to lose myself again, like I once did? No. Am I ready for it? Hell yes. But is it gonna be great. At some point, we have all come to the understanding that we all have to grow up. Think of it as planting a garden of self-growth. The roses of what we have all come to grow with. When you grow you start to meet other plants in the garden and allow them to have love in your garden.

  I lived all of my life thinking I couldn't be happy with myself. And find the self-love we all deserve. Also just to say you all deserve to find your self-love too. And if you haven't found it just yet, I know you will. Believe me. 

  Reason I'm writing this to you all is because...Pretty soon, we all have to grow up. Plant our own seeds into our gardens. So, with that being written, I came to tell you that after I graduate high-school, they'll be no more Thoughts At 12AM. This book was my ode to my teenage self. And of course, known as the writings of my life. Because I know I'll look back on this one day and laugh. Cry, probably cringe and above all, giving you my songs of the night. 

  Don't worry, my friends. I will still keep writing until the end of my teenage-hood. And as many of you all know the message as to why I wrote Thoughts At 12AM was to inspire others to write. And to say I completed my task, was beyond true. For that I truly thank you all. And that's really all I can say...Is thank you. This isn't good-bye, not at all. And I am still writing to you all. And love you very much. 

  Because I believe it's time we all begin to grow our gardens. Watch them bloom and grow, because as a beautiful man once sang "Where This Flower Blooms." And soon I'm going to be a flower girl; that will bloom that will glow. As as his beautiful friend sang " Cause after the storm is when the flower blooms."

Our song of the night? 

After The Storm by Kali Uchis Feat. Tyler, The Creator & Bootsy Collins