Darkwing Duck One Shots

Quackerjack x Sassy Reader

(Y/N) Your Name. (L/N) Last Name.

You're a twenty seven year old woman named (Y/N) (L/N). You live with your best friend Michaela Drury. She's a beagle woman with long dirty blonde hair, glasses, etc. She's a pretty decent girl... sometimes. She's thirty seven years old and has a twenty two year old son named Samuel. He's a dog man with black and tan on him and black hair. She had him when she was only fifteen.

You on the other hand are straight up sassy. Like you're straight out of the hood or something. That type. You don't have kids of your own, but you actually made out with Samuel at one time a year back. There was a party going on and you were drunk. You told Michaela, "Sorry for making out with your son, bitch." She just replied with, "It's okay."

You're both talking and she's smoking a cigarette. You say, "Girl, we need to get our asses out once in a while. Ya know?" She says, "But we go to clubs all the time, girl. What more could you want?" She puffs her cigarette and blows the smoke.

You say, "Yeah, but I mean like find something fun to do. Clubs are gettin' boring. Besides, ya ever do some grindin' in there and when they turn the lights on, the motherfucker be looking like something out of the movie The Brood?" She says, "Oh god. I know what you mean."

You say, "Yeah. I think we should just get some Hamburger Hippo or something. Ya know? Get some shit to eat. I don't get paid until Saturday, so I only got fifty dollars on me." Michaela says, "That's not bad." You say, "This day and age, it ain't enough." She says, "Good point." You both talk the rest of the time.

(Time skip.)

Later on, you and Michaela are out. You just ate at Hamburger Hippo and you're driving down the road. You're behind the wheel. You've got your radio playing the song All Falls Down by Kanye West. You suddenly see something bouncing by. They almost hit you, so you shout, "Motherfucker!" and you slam on the breaks.

You see someone in a sort of jester or harlequin suit jumping on a pogo stick. He's jumping at least ten feet in the air. You say, "Yo! Watch your shit next time!" They stop and they look over at you, still jumping on the pogo stick. He's a duck with sort of big teeth, a blue and red harlequin suit on, one sleeve with red stripes and the other sleeve with red polka dots.

He grins and he jumps away. You say, "Fucking clown." Michaela says, "He looks like he's outrunning something." You suddenly see a motorcycle with a part to it to seat another person, pass by and the person in a purple suit yelling, "Stop right there, Quackerjack!" You say, "Yo. What the fuck?"

You gasp and you smirk. You say, "Ooh, girl. I think I know what we can do." Michaela says, "What?" You say, "Let's see what's goin' down with whoever they are. I feel like some shit is gonna happen with those two." Michaela says, "Alright. Let's do it." As the green light hits, you drive and you go the direction the vehicle went.

You get to a toy store and you say, "A toy store?" Michaela says, "What is that weird clown guy doing at a toy store?" You say, "Maybe replacing the shit with his dangerous stuff. I don't know. Maybe robbin' the place?" You park outside and you and Michaela get out of your car and you get inside the toy store.

You look to see people crouching in the corner. Employees hiding behind their desks, etc. You say, "Well damn. There a robbery going on up in this bitch?" Michaela says, "I guess so, girl." You smirk and you say, "This I gotta see." You look to see the same harlequin dressed duck facing the purple clad duck wearing a cape, hat, mask, etc.

The one in the purple points his gun over at the clown and says, "Stop right there, you demented jack in the box. I'm putting you behind bars!" The clown who is Quackerjack says, "Suit yourself, Darkwing Duck." He chuckles and he gets out a rubber ducky. He drops it and he puts his hands up saying, "I surrender."