Darkwing Duck One Shots

Horrible Co-Worker Elmo x Reader

(Y/N) Your Name. (L/N) Last Name.

Your name. (Y/N) (L/N). Age: 27. You're a (favorite animal) woman who lives in the city of St. Canard. You work at a company called Quackerworks Inc. Things are pretty good for you... except for one thing. Or one person. A thirty six year old rat guy by the name Elmo Sputterspark.

You could not stand him. The guy was a jerk to you all the time and you hated him for it. You can tolerate your perverted co-worker George Littleton compared to Elmo. He would constantly poke fun... or stab fun at you and you've done absolutely nothing to deserve it. He's your bully.

Another co-worker of yours who's a duck man the same age as Elmo named Drake Mallard would try to stop him. Elmo would tell him to back off and mind his own damn business. He had even called Mallard a piece of shit. And he still treats YOU worse.

You're on your way to work and you're dreading it big time. Why? Elmo of course. The co-worker you wish would back off. The one you couldn't stand to be around. The guy who constantly ridicules you.

Especially for how you look. Because of your clothes and your looks. You wear glasses that look like something out of the 1980s. You always wear a sweater and sweatpants to work and he'll call you icky or ugly. What's worse is... your cubicle is right across from his. Much to your dismay.

As you walk to your cubicle, Elmo is flirting with a chicken woman with a curvy figure, long wavy blonde hair, big breasts, a short black skirt on, white button up shirt, etc. That's Clara Chic. He smirks and says, "So, Clara. How about a date, huh? At least you're not like that dumpy excuse of a co-worker of mine.~"

She says, "Ugh. Get lost, Sputterspark. And stop being a jerk to her. She did nothing to you. I like guys who are sweet. Like your co-worker Drake here." She huffs and walks off. He smirks and says, "God, she's hot.~" Drake Mallard sees this and he just shakes his head and faces his computer.

Elmo sees you and he says, "Ugh. Here we go. The dishrag is coming through." You get to your cubicle and you sit down. You hear Elmo saying, "Hey, (Y/N). How are you today? Getting dumpier?" He laughs a bit. You ignore him.

He says, "Alright. Don't say anything. It's not like your voice suits you, anyways. Voices can be deceiving. I thought you were Clara Chic at first when I heard you speak... but boy was I wrong? It's like Tinder without the app and I get catfished instead."

Drake looks over at him and says, "Elmo. Come on. Leave her alone. She's not doing anything to you. Back off." Elmo just flips him off and says, "Stay out of it, Mallard. Be lucky I'm easy even on YOU."

Your other co-worker Lisa McPhee says, "You're an arrogant ass. You know that?" He says, "Hey guess what McPhee... you're fat and ugly too. At least I know I'm an asshole." He laughs a bit. She says, "Oh, fuck off."

You say, "I-it's okay, Lisa. It's not worth trying to fight back." She looks at you and says, "Girl. You need a vacation from here for a week at least. Get some space from this motherfucker." She points at Elmo." You say, "You know what? Yeah. I'll talk to the boss about it. I haven't had any vacation days. Thanks, Lisa."

Elmo says, "Hallelujah! No trash for a whole week!" You growl under your breath. He smirks as he looks over at you. He says, "I bet every guy you've dated regretted it, knowing you live in a shit hole for a home. And having to look at something that turns Medusa herself into stone." He laughs.

You sigh and you stand up. You storm off. He says, "What are you gonna do?! Tattle on me like a little kid?! Ha! Go ahead! See if I care! Nobody does! They just don't wanna admit it!" Lisa looks at him and says, "Fuck is wrong with you?!"

Drake says, "Yeah. That's a woman." Elmo says, "You think I give a shit? That's no lady I see. That's King Kong with a sweater on. I bet you guys fifty bucks it is. Even compared to YOU." He looks at Lisa. She says, "Fuck you, Sputterspark. Hell, even that Megavolt has more of a fucking heart than you and he's a villain."

Drake thinks to himself, "He is Megavolt." He looks at Elmo and says, "Besides, Elmo. I went to school with you. You were treated worse than I was. You were the most tormented kid in school." Elmo sighs and says, "Just stay out of it, Mallard. I don't like the sight of that woman. End of story." He gets back to work.

You sigh and you feel tears in your eyes. You say, "I can't take it. I just... can't." You wipe some tears away. Some employees look at you with concern on their faces. A woman says, "Is she gonna be okay?"

A guy says, "I bet it's that fucking Sputterspark guy. He's constantly putting her down and making fun of her." Another guy says, "I'd like to kick his ass for treating that poor woman like that." A bigger woman says, "And so shallow, too. He called ME a whale last week, but it's nothing compared to how he treats Miss. (L/N). She doesn't deserve this."

You get to the boss's office and you knock. You hear a feminine voice saying, "Come in." You open the door and you walk inside. You say, "Hi, Mrs. Swiney." Mrs. Swiney is a middle aged pig woman with light brown hair, a blue blazer on, black pants, etc. She says, "Hello, Miss. (L/N)."

You sigh and you say, "I have a request... If it's okay." She says, "Dear. Is everything okay?" You sigh. She realizes it and says, "It's Elmo Sputterspark again, isn't it?" You say, "Yes." She says, "I figured. That man is on thin ice. Let me tell you. He better watch himself. Plus, he's got a criminal record."

You say, "Actually, Mrs. Swiney. If you don't mind... I'd like to take a vacation." She says, "That's fine, dear. Just sign your vacation on this calender and you're on it." She gets out a calendar and you mark down your vacation days.

She says, "Tell you what sweetie. You haven't taken any vacation days since you've been here your whole year in a half. Take two weeks off. Take a breather." You say, "Thank you, Mrs. Swiney. I really need it. I can't stress anymore of Sputterspark's crap. I really can't. I'm getting fed up." 

She says, "Would you like these vacation days or would you like to keep working? If anything, I could terminate Sputterspark instead." You say, "That won't be necessary." She looks at you. You say, "If you do that, he may come back and treat me worse."

She says, "My god. I'd hate to say it, but you have a point there. Yeah. Take your vacation, honey." You say, "Thank you." She says, "I'm gonna have a long hard talk with Elmo. And trust me, dear... He won't even go near you while he's on watch. I'm switching you to a different area." You say, "Yes. Please?"

She says, "I will. Have a nice vacation. Get some space from him." You say, "See you later, Mrs. Swiney." She says, "Honey. You can call me Helga." You say, "Thank you, Helga." You head out. She says, "That poor girl. Sputterspark needs to realize he needs to be careful. It'll cost him his job." 

(Time skip.)

Later on, you're at home watching TV. You're sitting back on your couch as you eat potato chips. You sigh and you say, "I don't get what the hell I ever did to Elmo. Clara told me he was nice. I guess she meant nice to HER. Not me. Not dumpy old me. Oh well... At least I'm two weeks away from him."

You get done watching TV and you get up. You say, "I'm gonna take a nice warm bath." You turn the TV off and you walk to your bathroom. You shut the door behind you and you start to strip down to your bra and underwear.

Turns out, you're hiding a smoking hot body underneath all the sweaters and stuff you wear. You get your glasses off and your hair down. Your hair's nice, too. If Elmo knew what you looked like, he'd stop his torment towards you.

Then an idea strikes your head and you smirk. You say, "Wait... He likes girls with amazing bodies." You look at yourself and you say, "Not that I think I do, but when I go back... he's in for a fucking surprise. But this time... I'll be the mean one." You grin out of your plan. You get undressed and you get ready for a bath.

(To be continued...)