Something - Quinn Fabray

Chapter 86

"Hey, Hobbit, step aside, I need to borrow your science text book." Santana all but pushed Ryan aside from his locker as she began rummaging through it on Wednesday morning. Ryan stared at her in consternation before moving to stop her.

"Santana, that's my locker and this is pretty inappropriate -"

Santana smirked as she found his stash of condoms. "Wanky."

"Santana!" Ryan managed to push her aside.

Suddenly Santana narrowed her eyes. "Why do you have that?"

Ryan snatched it back, glaring at her. "I would think it's obvious," he told her hotly. "Obviously you and Brittany don't exactly need these, but they're used as a prophylactic method to protect against unwanted pregnancies and transmission of STDs. I'm sure it was covered in health class, demonstrated by Miss Holliday on a cucumber."

"Well, duh," the girl rolled her eyes. "But I know for a fact that Q's on the pill, pretty religiously. And I know you're not getting any on the side. So you don't need that."

"No method is 100% guaranteed, and Quinn and I just want to make doubly sure that we're being safe, and you know what, this is none of your business anyways!"

"Oh please, Hobbit, I live on other people's business. That's why you love me. And besides, I'm guessing it's probably a good thing you're both so anal about this, I mean Quinnie got knocked up the first time, she's obviously the world's most efficient baby-factory."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"What are we talking about?" Quinn asked as she and Brittany came up to the two of them. Santana smiled widely.

"We're talking about -"

"Okay," Ryan said loudly, clapping his hands. "I really think we should all go to class now."

"No, me and Santana always skip third period on Wednesdays," Brittany said conversationally, Ryan breathing a sigh of relief when Santana let their previous topic go. "We usually spend it in the boiler room making out. Or in the janitor's closet making out. Or in the ladies' room -"

"- Making out, I think we get it." Quinn pulled a face.

Ryan shook his head reprovingly. "You know, you shouldn't skip classes," he admonished. "For one, we're going to a public school, and our tuition is paid for by the taxpayers' dollars. It's also highly disrespectful to the teachers, and besides, don't you want the best education you can get?"

"Totally," Santana agreed. "Which is why we always skip Mr. Schue's Wednesday Spanish lessons, which is third period on Mondays and Wednesdays. He sucks so bad it makes my ears bleed. Get this, the other day he was up in front with maracas, singing La Cucaracha in a poncho and a fucking sombrero."

"I thought the sombrero was cute," Brittany pouted. Santana rolled her eyes indulgently.

"He sang that last year too," Quinn recalled. "Thank God I finished the last of my foreign language credits last year."

"I did too," Ryan nodded. "Why haven't you two?" he asked Santana and Brittany.

"I got distracted drawing sombreros and burritos."

"Because apparently, you have to show up to classes to pass, even if you're completely fluent," Santana groused. "I aced the exams, obviously, but apparently there was this whole 'mandatory attendance' clause which I thought was totally bogus. Which is why I even attend at all now."

Brittany smiled happily. "But San's taught me a lot, like I can say -"

Santana quickly clamped a hand over her mouth. "I don't think they want to hear that, Britts," she said hurriedly. Ryan shook his head, unwilling to think of what Santana could have possibly taught Brittany to say.