Thirty-Five

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Vonte Pov

I jumped to my feet when she said I can see Vinnie. "Okay, thank you." I said. I grabbed Gabby's hand and we walked to room 309 where Vinnie was. A nurse swiped her card on the lock and opened the door for us. We walked in quietly trying to be careful not to wake him. I exhaled as I sat down. I smiled at his heart monitor, as I saw the steadiness of his heart rate. I put my hand on his forehead. "You almost gave me a heart attack lil' bro. I know I don't say it often, I know I don't show it often. But I got you tatted on me for a purpose. It's always been us against the world. You, me and Ma. The Three Musketeers." I smiled as a tear slipped and Gabby rubbed my back. "I always tried to look out for you. I always wanna keep you safe because that's my sole mission as your big brother. 10 minutes or not. You gon' make it outta this and then never have to see these days again. We gon be good.... I'll make sure of it." I spoke quietly as I moved my hand from his forehead to his hand. I gave it a gentle squeeze and then removed it. "Come here." Gabby said. 

She pulled me over the guest bed in the corner of Vinnie's hospital room. She laid down first, then I laid down on her, placing my head on her chest. "I know you're scared, and you feel like you failed as a brother but Vinnie is lucky to have you. He doesn't even know. And trust me Von, you mean the world to him, just as much as he means it to you." She said reassuring me. "Gabby." I said. "Hm ?" she said. "I... I love you." 

Vinnie Pov 

I woke up and everything was white. I had no idea where I was. I was even dressed in white.

"Vinnie."

"God ?"  I said looking around.

"Ha ! you wish."  The voice laughed. 

"Don't tell me I'm in hell right now." I said. 

"Not exactly, where you are is in limbo... you dancing between life and death." 

"Who is this speaking to me ?" 

"Don't tell me you forgot your old man already..."  My father spoke.

"Da-dad ? how is it possible that we're speaking ? you died." I said as my eyes started getting watery.

"Don't start the water works, you were always a cry baby... you know the softer twin."  He laughed.

"Dad what's going on." 

"What's going on is I brought you here to get an understanding of why you're putting your hands on that girl ?" he said. I sighed and held my head low. 

"I don't know pops... I just, I get so mad sometimes and I can't control it, or I get so sad that I don't want to be around anybody. I contemplate if I wanna live or die everyday. I hate myself for what I've turned into. I'm always happy, I'm Vinnie, even my name is happy. VINNIE !" I said yelling my name. "I'm not supposed to be this person. I just hate everything sometimes you know ? and the only way I can express my anger and frustration is by violence. Crystal just catches the worst of it. My insecurities and own problems get in the way of my relationship." I said.

"Vinnie, I want you to be better than me. Don't put that girl through what your mother went through. Use me as an example of what not to be. It's too late for sorries, I'm already dead." He laughed a little. "Being stuck in limbo, not knowing whether you going up or down, it gives you time to think. I pray for forgiveness everyday. I wish I had the chance to make it right with your mom before it was my time to go. I want you to tell her I'm sorry." He said. 

"How ? I'm basically dead." I said discouraged. 

"No you're not, because what I need you to do for me son is to wake up. I spent my life treating you, your brother, and your mother like shit ! I don't deserve any second chances regardless what life we in. I just need to speak my peace. I should've been a better father. I should've been there to raise and protect y'all and show you how to treat a women. Me not doing my part caused you to physically abuse girls, and your brother to physically mis-use girls. I let y'all down. I didn't do my part. And for that I'm truly sorry. I'm not asking for you to forgive me, I want you to wake up. I need you to fight and wake up." He said. I began to cry. 

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