Jeremiah POV
I woke up and took a deep breath. Not just any deep breath, but a deep breath of completion, relief, of happiness. Yes, I am happy, finally. I mean I have my girl friend, my friends, my sister, my mom, my cousin, my step dad, my step brothers, everyone and they mamas popping out for me. I threw my covers to the side and yawned as I stretched with a smile on my face. "Damn J, ya shit kicking." I said rubbing my stomach walking to the shower with my toiletry basket. Yes niggas have them shits too, I like organization. After my morning routine I walked into my room and started getting ready. I ain't pop out yet because graduation isn't until 5 and it's 11 right now. I put on some grey nike sweat shorts, white wife beater, my concord 11s, and a white tee that I threw over my shoulder. To finish my look, I put in some earrings and threw a chain on. I grabbed my car keys, my wave brush, my wallet, phone, and charger and headed out my room and down the hall to Tamia's room. I walked in slowly and quietly, trying not to wake her.
I walked over to her and gently scooped her little body up. I sat on the bed with my back facing the door and began to speak lowly. "Hey mama, I know you can't really understand me yet, but you can feel me. Put your hand right here." I gently placed her hand on my heart and smiled small at her cute sleeping face. "Since the day you were conceived I knew I would owe you my life. I knew I was always going to be your protector, your provider, you confidant, you're everything. Just like you're my everything. My happiness, my weakness, my strength, my motivation, my courage, my support, shit Tamia you my heart, my life line. You and ma. If I lose y'all, I know I got nothing left, I know I failed. Not even Keilani mean this much to me like you. Shhh, don't tell her though." I smiled.
"When I go to college I'm gonna get right for y'all. You, ma and Keilani will never have to worry again. I let you down enough. That time you were staying with auntie Saphora, it's because my mind wasn't right. I chose the streets, and the drugs, and the money, and the liquor, and the girls over you. When ma kicked me out it was my fault. I left her and I left you.... but I ain't never gon leave you again. Otherwise I'd be like our father. And I never wanna be like him. You gon grow up to be a strong, beautiful, intelligent, smart black women. I'm gon show you how to love yourself, know your worth, and play the game ight." I smiled cockily. "Ain't no busta finna break ya heart ever ! and if he do, Imma break his knees."
She began stirring and her face was scrunching up. Her eyes slowly fluttered open as she began to cry and whine. "Mm mm mm shhhh, shhhh." I gently bounced her and softly shushed her until she calmed down. Once she finally calmed down, I began to sing to make her sleep again. "Lean on me, when you're not strong....I'll be ya friend... I'll help you carry on. For, it won't be long, I'm gonna need somebody to lean on." I just alternated between singing and humming the chorus of 'Lean On Me' by Bill Withers till she fell asleep again. "You gon be my shoulder to lean on Mia ? hm ?" I asked softly knowing she can't answer me but in her heart I know it's a yes.
"I'll always be yours...we all gon be ight and that's on me...you and ma will always have me to lean on." I kissed her forehead and placed her back in her bed to sleep comfortably again. After she was good I just stared at her for a few seconds. "I used to sing that to you all the time to help you sleep when you were a baby." My mom spoke. I didn't know how long she was there and I didn't care. I smiled. "And whenever dad left and I'd spend the night crying, you always said 'Just because he left again doesn't mean you lost me too. You'll always have me to lean on.'" We said in unison. "That's right, and you still do baby... you always will." She said. By this time she was next to me standing over Tamia watching her sleep as well.
"You both got me." I turned and hugged her. After some silence, I spoke. "Thank you ma." "For what." I stepped back and looked at her. "For what ? ma are you serious ? Thank you for having me, thank you for having Tamia, thank you for not giving up on us, thank you for giving me an education, thank you for slaving 60 hours a week, working double shifts back to back just to put clothes on our backs, shoes on our feet, food in our mouths, and a roof over our heads. You did it all by yourself and with out that lame excuse for a father. All them times I disrespected you, all those dishes I never washed, all those errands I never ran, all that complaining I did... man. I never realized how thankful and how sorry I am. 18 years, you took care of me for 18 years without a single regret or complaint and I was too ungrateful, selfish, arrogant, and disrespectful to take notice of all you did for me. You could've chose to leave, you didn't have parent us, but you did. I could have a million tongues and I'll never be able to thank you enough ma." I paused.
