Tenebrous ❆ Sirius Black [2]

Chapter Seventy Two

The last couple of days had been hard. Ever since she had pulled away from the Order and stopped going to meetings, Nadia had seen a lot less of Fabian and Gideon. But the two still visited her at the hospital at times, and sent letters as often as they could. And Nadia knew that she could always see them if they wanted to meet. She should have used that more. She should have spent more time with them. Because now, that was impossible.

Nadia remembered the first time she had met the lively twins. Back when she was still in Hogwarts and decided to go to Professor Dumbledore with one of her dreams. A dream in which she had seen Fabian's death. A dream she had helped prevent that night. Both Fabian and Gideon got to stay with their family because of that dream. They got to meet their nephews and be a part of their lives. Until they couldn't anymore… And Nadia couldn't help but wonder and feel guilty.

"Aunt Nadia!" The shrill exclamation made Nadia jump in her seat as she was dragged out of her mind. Her eyes looked down to Gwen as she held out a plastic teacup towards her.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I got stuck in thought." Nadia apologised to the girl while she continued to hand out plastic cups to her mother as well as a multitude of stuffed toys that surrounded them on the floor.

"I forgot sugar!" Gwen exclaimed in surprise as she rushed over to a box in the corner of the room, her little hands shifting through the plastic pieces in search of the make believe sugar.

"I know what you're thinking. And it's not true." Eliza used the moment of her daughter's distraction to turn to Nadia with a knowing look.

"I stopped it before, maybe… If I wasn't taking the potion…" Nadia mumbled thoughtfully, the idea going through her head more and more with each passing moment.

"You can't know that for sure. And you know Fabian and Gideon wouldn't have wanted you to do it if you weren't ready." Eliza tried again. She could see the look on Nadia's face as she contemplated all the things that could have been done differently.

"I know, and I know it's pointless to wonder about what ifs, but maybe it's time. Maybe I could prevent losing more people in the future." Nadia explained making Eliza raise an eyebrow at her.

"Do you think you're ready for all that again?" Eliza asked, trying to hold the doubt from her voice. She knew she couldn't be the judge of that in Nadia's place. But knowing the girl, she believed she had some inkling into her idea perhaps not being the best one.

"I couldn't handle it if someone else died when I have the chance to help preventing it. Sirius, you, Adam, Nicholas, Henry, Marlene… How much could I have helped Camille if we'd only known what would happen?" Nadia voiced the questions she had been using to push herself into letting her dreams come back to her. She felt obligated to do it. She felt like she was abandoning her friends and refusing to help them if she didn't.

Her eyes glanced towards Gwen who was now sitting by her box after she became distracted by a set of wooden blocks with letters written out on their colourful surfaces. It wasn't only the people themselves that she worried about. She worried about something happening and the children getting hurt. About Gwen and Harry, and about all of the little Weasley children.