Barrow's Boy - A Downton Abbey Fanfiction

Not A Word

     "That's impossible," Thomas said, turning to look at Theodore, who was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the ground. 

     "That's what I thought too, but- I dunno- I couldn't help wondering." Teddy looked up at his godfather, eyes wide. He just kept thinking about Johnson and whether the man was really who he claimed to be. If so, Teddy would be meeting a relation that he never thought he would even know the name of.

     "Teddy, your father doesn't know you exist." Thomas looked away again, adjusting the glove on his left hand.

     "But what makes you so sure?" Theodore had to admit, he knew why his biological father didn't know about him, but he was sure there were ways for him to find out. Thomas sighed and looked at the boy again, studying him for a moment before walking over and crouching down in front of him so that he was just a bit shorter than the sitting Teddy. Thomas placed his hands on Teddy's knees, thinking for another moment before finally answering.

     "I can explain it to you, but you can't tell anyone about it, alright?"

     "Why?"

     "Because people aren't very open to stories like yours," Thomas replied, moving from his crouching position to sit next to Teddy, putting an arm around him. Teddy leaned towards, Thomas, nodding with a slight frown on his face. 

     "Alright. I won't tell a soul."

     "Good lad," Thomas said, giving Teddy's shoulder a small squeeze. "Now, about the situation with your father. This man can't know you exist because your mother only met him once. They knew each other for one night and, as far as I am aware, they never exchanged names."

     "What do you mean they only knew each other for one night?" Teddy said, looking up at Thomas. He had never been told otherwise, but he thought his father must have died when he was very young, or at least have had a good reason to not be there. 

     "They met each other one night, and your father left town the next morning," Thomas said, trying to remember what else he had been told. 

     Eliza had shared a good amount of the information with him, but even she couldn't remember anything. She had been too drunk that night, and while coping with her terrible headache the next morning, she had shared with Thomas everything she had remembered. There was a man, they spent the night together, he was gone before she woke up that morning. They never exchanged names, and she had never seen him again. Thomas had never been told what this man looked like, other than small comments in the few years after Teddy was born. A mention of Theodore's hair being curly like his was, or that his eyes were the same light brown. That all was Thomas knew of the man and, as far as he was concerned, that was all he ever cared to know of him. Teddy was his boy now, his son, and no man would ever take that away from him.

     "Your parents weren't married. They didn't even know each others' names." Thomas looked at Teddy, who had looked away and was seemingly considering what was being said. 

     "Why do you say that like it's bad?"

     "Because it makes you what people call an illegitimate child." Thomas explained, deciding to not go into what that meant for Theodore right now. "Anyway, this man, Captain what's-his-name-"

     "Johnson."

     "Captain Johnson would never be able to conclude that you were his son." Teddy was still skeptical, but he didn't want to bother Thomas with it anymore. If Johnson wasn't his father, then why would he claim to be? What good would he get from taking care of a random kid, and claiming he was his own?

     "If it would help," Thomas said, pulling Theodore for the many questions in his head, "I can go find him and question him about it. Your mother gave me a few ideas of what he looked like." Teddy looked up at Thomas and nodded, glad that he had had the idea. He wouldn't be able to deal with not knowing for much longer. Thomas stood up, giving Teddy a tight smile and walking towards the door. he opened it, then turned to look at his son again.

     "Remember, not a word." Thomas placed a finger to his lips, then turned and walked out of the room, leaving Teddy alone. 

     Everett laughed as he and Percy tossed dirt at each other, both standing out in the field of Percy's new farm. Mr. Wilson was in the barn, doing something farmerly, Teddy didn't really care to hear what it was. His mind was still stuck on Johnson, and Thomas, and his mother. He had always known that Thomas wasn't his real father, not by blood, at least, but he'd never thought about what he would do if he met his real father. He traced his finger on the rock he was sitting on, looking over at where Abigail was looking at the animals. He looked away, biting his lip as he stared at the rock again.

    How Teddy ached to tell Abigail everything. About Johnson, and how he claimed to be his real father. About his mother, and how she hadn't known his father for long. About Thomas, and how he'd offered to look into the issue. But he couldn't tell Abigail everything because Abigail didn't know anything. She didn't know that Thomas Barrow was Teddy's godfather, not father, and she didn't know why Teddy had once introduced himself as Knighton-Barrow and not just Barrow. 

     "What are you thinking about?" Teddy jumped a bit, looking up and meeting the kind eyes of Mr. Wilson. He'd hadn't even heard the man walk over to him, but here he was, standing just a few feet away.

     "Oh, nothing. I'm just tired, I suppose."

     "No, there's something on your mind. If you want to talk about it, you can talk to me." The man sat next to Teddy, pulling a package of cigarettes out of his pocket. He looked at Teddy, as if asking for permission to light one and, once Teddy nodded, he did just that, taking a drag from it before talking again.

     "It's not something to do with one of your friends, is it? Because I could talk to Percy and-"

     "No. They haven't done anything wrong, sir. It's personal." Teddy said, looking out at Everett and Percy, who had actually started working on planting the crops. "Family things."

     "I see." Mr. Wilson stared at the cigarette in his hand for a moment before talking again. "You know, Percy told me all about how my sister treated him while he was here. And how you tried to help him. He feels very indebted to you, and I'm sure he'd like to help him he could." Teddy looked up and opened his mouth to explain his wish to keep it to himself, but closed it again when Mr. Wilson stood up. 

     "Now, I have some more work to do. Why don't you make yourself useful and help the boys plant? I'll distract you if nothing else." Teddy smiled a bit and nodded, standing up as well and placing his hat on the rock before going to join Everett and Percy. 

     If Mr. Wilson had been right about anything, it was that planting would distract him. By the time he returned to Downton, practically covered in dirt, to Mr. Carson's dismay, he was feeling much happier than he had before and hadn't thought about Johnson at all. He hadn't told any of his friends about his past, as he'd agreed not to, no matter how much he wanted to. He wondered if there would ever be a day where they knew he was illegitimate, and how they would react. Would they always be there, as Mr. Wilson seemed to believe, or would Thomas be right, and would the thought of it turn them against him? Teddy didn't think his friends would just leave him, but his father's words kept on returning to his mind, leaving him to wonder if keeping this secret was truly for the best.