Barrow's Boy - A Downton Abbey Fanfiction

Alone

     Alone. In a way, the feeling was both familiar and foreign. 

    Despite the fact that he was often surrounded by people, Teddy had become much more aware of when he was seen and when he wasn't. Lately, it seemed that everyone at Downton had their focus on other things. It was understandable, of course, yet frustrating. 

    First there was Anna. It was completely understandable that her focus was on getting her husband out of prison. But Teddy found that he had many things he'd like to talk to her about that he wasn't getting the chance to.

    Then Daisy. If he wasn't asking Anna these things, his next person would be Daisy. Yet she seemed to be too busy wrapped up in some sort of "thing" that Teddy didn't want to try and figure out. It was honestly just confusing. And Jimmy seemed to be part of it all too, which also put him out of the picture. 

    Lastly, of course, was Thomas. Who's focus seemed to be on helping Jimmy get settled into Downton, even though Jimmy had been a footman before. It honestly confused Teddy even more than what was happening with the kitchen maids and the footmen. Thomas didn't give Alfred the time of day, although Teddy thought that was quite understandable. Alfred seemed nice, yet he was also practically adored by O'Brien and Carson. 

     School had started up again, and Thomas still hadn't given Teddy the promised cricket lesson. The boy wouldn't be surprised if he'd forgotten about it by now. 

     

     Teddy wasn't at Downton now. Instead, he'd gone out into the village. He would've asked, but he'd been unable to find his father to do so. So, he'd set out without a word, figuring that he'd be fine as long as he was home before dark. 

     His friends weren't available. Abi had gone to London with her parents for business related reasons. Everett and his family were visiting some wealthy cousin or other relation. And Percy, apparently, was meeting a woman that his father had met. 

     So, not only were his friends busy, but Teddy was the only one actually at Downton. 

    He hadn't wanted to see Katherine lately. Her sister had been busier than ever with plans for the wedding that he'd been officially uninvited from. She'd filled his spot and he was no longer needed to help with the numbers. Not that Teddy really minded.

     But, that wasn't why he didn't want to see Katherine. The real reason was the way his heart jumped every time he did. How his mind, usually organized with his thoughts, seemed to become jumbled when he spoke to her. And how he struggled to divert his gaze away from her beauty.

     Despite the fact that he was only twelve, Teddy was wondering if he had truly fallen in love with this girl.

     So, that left Teddy alone. No friends around him, no fake Downton family to talk to, and definitely no real family to see. 

    He walked through town, keeping to himself. He still wore black, Lady Sybil's death fresh in everyone's minds. It had only been a couple of days, and Teddy found that Downton without Sybil was much less beautiful.

     He wasn't sure how it happened, he hadn't really payed much attention to where she was going, but he ended up in the cemetery, at the fresh grave of Lady Sybil. 

     He looked at the dirt, which hadn't even had time to really settle into the ground. Slowly, he sat in front of it, just staring at it, hugging his knees to his chest. 

     He couldn't say how long he sat there, just remembering every fond memory he had of Lady Sybil. Every reason he admired her. But he was eventually interrupted.

     "This is unexpected." Lady Edith looked down at Theodore as he stood up, wiping the dirt off of the back of his pants. 

     "I'm sorry, my Lady, I just-"

     "There's no need for explanations. It's nice to know that other people miss her too." Teddy nodded, glancing at the grave before looking back to the deceased's sister. 

     "She's made it very easy for us to miss her." He said, hoping he wasn't over-stepping any boundaries by doing so. "I'm very sorry for you. I can't imagine how hard it must be." 

     "Thank you, Teddy." Edith looked down at the grave again. "If it's alright, I'd like to be alone now."

     "Of course, my Lady." Teddy gave the slightest bow and proceeded to walk away, leaving Lady Edith alone to mourn. 

     "Theodore!" Teddy turned at the sound of his name to see Mrs. Crawley walking towards him, waving her arm to ensure that he saw her. He stopped and walked a few steps towards her to fill the distance. 

     "I've something for you." She said, smiling. Teddy was automatically shaking his head.

     "Oh, no ma'am. You've given me more than enough already." 

     "No, this is something you must have!" She took his arm and began leading him back to her home, despite his protests. 

     Although Teddy appreciated this, he didn't want to keep accepting gifts from Mrs. Crawley. He already felt indebted to her, and now the feeling would just grow. 

     As they arrived at the Crawley house, they were let in by Ethel, who Teddy was quite surprised to see. He decided it was best not to say anything, and just followed Mrs. Crawley through the house. 

    Finally, she handed him a book, with a crisp, clean cover. It was clearly very new, most likely just bought off of the shelf. 

     "Dr. Clarkson told me that this had been published and we both agreed that you should have a copy." Teddy was in awe of this book. He didn't tend to buy things brand new, and just holding this felt special. But, there were reasons for things like these. 

     "But, ma'am, I accept this. You've already done so much for me." Mrs. Crawley studied him for a moment, seeming to understand that he wouldn't change his mind. 

     "Well, I've already bought it." She thought for another moment, before following up with a question. "When's your birthday?"

     "It was just couple of weeks ago. The twenty-ninth."

     "Then consider this a late birthday gift." Teddy consider this. It was rude to say no to a birthday gift, wasn't it?

      "Alright. But if there's anything I could do in return, please let me know."

     Mrs. Crawley's eyes lit up, a sudden realization dawning on her.

     "I've just the thing for you."