HEDONISTIC

48. Frankie is back at it again

She was going to be sick when she read the message that made the phone vibrate. It was Matty of course, just seen his name on the phone made her feel alive again. The message was simple asking his little brother what he was getting mum for her upcoming birthday and before she could think any better Frankie shared the contact unto her phone. She was going to call him later.

Frankie was drunk.

Her hair was a tangled mess- a mess just like your thoughts, everything was fuzzy around the edges and all she could think about was how she shouldn't had that last shot of tequila.Frankie was sitting on the bathroom floor contemplating about everything, she wasn't sure what was going on but truth be told, she never was.

 The bathroom was a mess- just like her thoughts, there were red cups on the floor and what looked like traces of vomit near the toilet. The white light was almost excruciating. Frankie wasn't supposed to be there, she was supposed to be pass this; pass getting drunk and making a scene, she wasn't a reckless teenager anymore- she had taxes that proved that. However, all of that didn't matter as she was sitting on the cold tiled bathroom with her phone on her hands, almost as if she was holding something precious- something that she didn't want to break, but that was the point.

Frankie was used to breaking things, she was used to being chaotic and acting like there were no consequences. The worst part for everyone was that she loved breaking things and not being there to fix them later.

Louis has left an hour ago with his girlfriend. Louis has a girlfriend and Frankie didn't know how she felt about it, in her drunken state Louis wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend. Louis was hers, just like Matty even though he didn't know that. Frankie was sure of it.

Sometimes at night her heart would ache and she would feel like she couldn't breathe, like it was all too much- like the branding that Matty left on her soul was too much to bear and that there was nothing she could do about it.

Frankie dreaded those nights.

She would never admit it to anyone, not even to Amber but deep in the corners of her mind she hoped that Louis felt like that too because that meant that she wasn't alone and that somehow even though everything was so fucked up there was something that was Matty's and also her's. Something to share, something to remind him that it was all real and not a fragment of her imagination about how she wanted to fuck a rockstar.

Frankie took a deep breath and dialed the number- that dreaded number. The phone ranged a couple times. Matty hadn't answered, of course he hadn't it was fucking 3:00am and he was a "respectable" member of society with a girlfriend and a house.