完璧な二人です (PERFECT ・ TWO)

a physiological reaction...? or not.

"This is just a physiological reaction, nothing more"

I felt like the burning passion I felt a few minutes ago died down. It seemed like I was submerged in a tub filled with ice-cold water as I pulled away from Bright. I gasped for air as I leaned on his shoulders; I can hear him panting as much as I did.

I shook my head as I weakly pull away, "No. This isn't right." I gasped for air, tears and sweat colliding at my cheeks. I felt like the strength in my leg left. "This isn't right, Bright." I turned to him, meeting his eyes. They were full of confusion, passion, and everything that I cannot understand – scratch that ...it was more like I chose not to comprehend them.

The depth of the emotions his eyes are trying to convey are too much for my confused mind to comprehend, too much for my heart to accept. I'm sorry, Bright. I thought as I meet his eyes.

He did not reply, instead, he kept on staring straight to my eyes before sighing painfully as he nodded his head. "I'm sorry." he just said, before averting his eyes.

The third day of Bright crashing in my place ended up in total awkwardness.

🐺🐰🐺🐰

I heaved a sigh, my head leaning over my arm as I aimlessly watch the PE students running around the field in broad daylight from my seat in my English class, catching everyone's attention in the process.

"Yes, Mr.Opas-iamkajorn?" I turned to the teacher when I heard my name and raised my eyebrow.

"What is it." I unconsciously replied, my face devoid of anything - as if I was talking to a friend and not a teacher. I immediately realized my mistake though. Even I was taken aback with my own words as I covered my lips while turning to JJ who was equally shocked as I was - but he was on the verge of losing his shit and I was damn sure that guy wouldn't even try to help me in this situation. But it was too late, even if I covered my mouth or if I realized what happened, what was done was done. Everyone inside the classroom was already staring in my direction with dead eyes. I , on the other hand, slowly turned back to the teacher only to find her fuming in annoyance directly staring at my direction, hands on the waist. I'm dead. So dead.

I smiled, the cutest one I could do hoping it will somehow work, but no. She remained stoic on her expression, her lips slightly pressed inside her mouth in annoyance. "S...sorry, ma'am." I retreated to a docile state as I stammer.

'Idiot!' I muttered to myself internally scolding my dumb ass.

She leaned to the podium, "If you don't want to listen to my class, Mr. Opas-iamkajorn, the door is always wide open for you to go out." she said after a few seconds of silence. "I don't tolerate students who does nothing in my class but daydream. If you want to daydream, go home and sleep."

"Kub." I sighed, my head still looking down. 'Fuck!' I hissed to myself, that if my hands were free, I would slap my head senseless.

I heard her sigh. "Sit." she said, turning her back at us to write in the board. I scratched my head and sat back to my seat.

Damn it! I immediately slapped my own face as I leaned forward to my table. How can I even concentrate in this state?! I'm internally in conflict with myself, there were a lot of questions and I wanted answers.

My brain is still back-tracking in time; it sure got stuck on what happened the night before. Bright's expression made me uneasy, and somewhat ... guilty? He made the expression of someone who just got rejected by someone he liked so much. Plus the kiss. I am bothered by the kiss that Bright and I shared, yes, but that was not everything; what was more bothering was the fact that I didn't hate it. The kiss, the feelings imbued within the kiss, the way he moved inside, his warmth, our skin together. I didn't hate any of them. If I did, I could easily push him away, or even physically hurt him but I did nothing. Why didn't I even resist? And more importantly, why did I respond to his initiation?